Less and More

The past month I have not struggled to be in the word every day
I have struggled to be close to God though
I've been reading but having a hard time taking anything away
I got my head all focused on things that didn't matter
and now I'm just realizing I just need to pray "GOD LET ME BE WITH YOU AGAIN!"
don't get me wrong I know that no matter how I feel He will never leave me nor forsake me, but I do know that sometimes we as humans can get on a religion kick and kind of leave God behind thinking we got this thing. Trying to please God on human power alone isn't doing it at all for me. I need His grace to please Him, and the awesome thing about it is that He gives grace to any who have faith in Him. His grace gives me power to do what pleases Him, and makes me pleasing to Him.

Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me

I've been to religious past month
I want the intimacy back.

Praying now!

Constantly

This morning, as I read 2 timothy chapters 1-2, I noticed something. Paul always made sure to remind the people he was writing to that he was praying for them. He told Timothy that he remembered Timothy constantly in prayer. This thought made me wonder something. Why is it that I pray so little for people specifically. I pray for them when I see them ask for prayer on facebook, or when they say something at church; however, I don't just go out of my way to remember to pray for people like I used to. This has got to change. I'm glad God stood that among other things out to me, but this is what hit me the hardest this morning. This week has been so filled with Call of Duty that I've lost touch of things that matter. It's time for a duty fast. I've got family in town by the way. I love them all, and I look forward to getting them to come to church with me so that my church family can meet them, but I doubt they will all come. Now there is a way you can be praying for me if you are reading this. Pray that God would use me to reach them.

What about me.

I'm busted.
It's easy to look at everyone else and bad situations and say "God fix that person." Or to say "God fix the situation." But maybe it's not just the person or situation that's broken. Sometimes we need to look closely at ourselves and ask "What about me?"

God fix Me
before you fix a situation
let me join with You in fixing this generation

that's my prayer
for God to continue working on and through me.

short but sweet.

SUPER HERO!

I've always wanted to be one. I've even done pretty stupid things to try to be one. I'm sure I'm not the only one though. My life has been filled with times where I wanted to rescue the damsel in distress, help the homeless person, or just save the world. Looking back on the past five years I can see where my desire to be the hero has gotten in the way. I've chilled out a lot since about a year ago, but I still want to be the hero. The key has been to be the hero at the appropriate time. That moment when I just know God has stuck me in position to be a hero which lately has happened a lot. The crazy thing is that sometimes I don't want to be the hero for certain people. Sometimes . . .it's hard to be the hero for some people. Even when God puts me in position to do so. Sometimes I'm tired, sometimes I don't know if the persons gonna shoot me down, and sometimes I just don't want to do it for that particular person. Sometimes God has us do something out of our comfort zone to show His love to others. . . Well duh! It's crazy though how He can use those times to show me just how busted and in need of repair that I am. In fact sometimes God uses those moments to show ME HIS LOVE. He allows me to help someone else out so that I can see how much I need Him. It is crazy how He does that.

Now that I have a moment to breathe

it's been an intense week.

A very intense week.

Between counseling meetings, work, christmas, dog sitting, and church

I've been on the go a lot.

This has been my first chance in the last two days to really sit down and blog.

Let me tell you I'm just tired lol.

Christmas and Christmas eve have been really amazing.

Work on Christmas was a little intense I work at a movie theatre

and well . . .

Christmas is like Pensacola go to the Movies Day.

It's a city wide holiday.

I got some pretty awesome stuff for Christmas

among them were pictures of me and a few of my best friends

which is the most treasured of them all

I like stuff like that

stuff to remember people by.

Starting 2 timothy tomorrow

I've been in 1st timothy for the past week

and wow. I mean I can see the stuff pouring out of my life

that I'm taking away from it

God's word doesn't return void yo

Church this morning was great

Put things into perspective. . . 

sometimes we have plans and God has better plans

Better plans aren't always easier plans

but they are better plans none the less

God never has a less better plan than us

either we are on the same page as Him

or our plan isn't good enough

His plans are not optional

He does as He wills

He doesn't need our permission 

He doesn't make suggestions

He does what He does for the good of all

we see the crescent

He sees the whole of the moon

=)

All these silly things that don't even matter

Al the fights arguments
pretenting to want to walk away from someone
that I know I can't walk away from
it all comes to a halt
all the things we fuss and fight about
all come to a halt when something that matters comes up

it's strange how God has done this so many times
in the past few months
but now that I look back I can see it

something huge is about to go down soon
who knows what it is
I just know it's gonna be huge
maybe people will like it
maybe they will hate it

but I know i'm being prepared for it right now

when it all began

I wrote this when the downhill fall began. . .
now that I'm back where I belong I just think to myself "wow!"
it had been a very long time since I'd felt anything like this.
but now by the grace of God I'm at peace again
no more sitting around and being anxious
but now I'm where I belong



"Pick This Brain of Mine for a Moment"

Sometimes I wish that I could be bitter.

I wish that I could be simply inconsiderate.

I'm pretty sure others wish this too.

To be able to fight compassion and win.

Yeah. I am a Christian.

and sometimes I do wish these things.

Nobody likes to get done wrong all the time.

Not even Jesus.

He took a beating and was nailed to a cross,

but He didn't do it with a smile

He did it knowing the end result.

Unfortunately for me I don't know how all this compassion 

will turn out. My lack of bitterness for other people sometimes

causes me to wonder . . if I'm just plain STUPID for allowing people back in.

I know I'm a work that's not complete and all 

and yes I do hope for heaven and know that I have abundant life here.

But hey . . feelings happen yknow.

I think the song "These Hard Times" by Needtobreathe really sums up 

how I feel right now.

I dont consider myself the wisest of people.

but I do know this. 

The way I feel right now

is not how humanity was meant to feel

this past week i've felt like just giving up . . . 

not like committiin suicide or anything

but just felt like just giving up

it's not a feeling I like feeling

I usually feel like I can conquer the world 

so what does someone in my shoes

pray pray pray

remember the promises of God

and remove the things that are causing those feelings

=/

not saying i can't be inconsiderate, mean, or bitter.

but I can't be those and be okay with it.

careful not to be carelessly cozy

The things decisions we make, our baggage, and our unchecked problems affect those around us.
Just look at the lives of people like David who decided to be where he wasn't supposed to be and started a whole line of drama and sin that ended in the death of one of his best friends and the death of his own child. David got cozy in the sin he committed. He got so cozy in fact that it became the furthest thing from his mind until someone showed up and told him about his self, and as a result of his sin he lost a son. The wages of sin is death.
   Think about Jonah who ran away from God and got on a ship going the opposite way of where God told him to go. A storm showed up and Jonah was cozy in the bottom of the ship sleeping while everybody else was terrified and freaking out. His sin was affecting the others and for a while he was okay with that until they made him face that sin.
   When I think about David and Jonah, I honestly can't say that I truly believe that they never thought of what they'd done wrong. I bet it haunted them every day before someone came along and told them. Their comfortability with their sin was just a cover up, but on the inside they knew. They knew that things just were not right. I know because I've been there before.
   Even when we think we can be cozy, we can't because eventually the sin is going to show itself and bite down on us, and the only freedom from it is to run to God in repentance and get away as fast as we can. That doesn't just go for sin though. It goes for any baggage that we deal with too. Any hurt or pain from the sins of others from the past. If it's a grudge let God heal the scars. Turn that stuff over to God. Baggage does nothing but hold us all down and hurts the people around us, and when we try to pretend we are all okay even when we're not it just makes things worse. We make messes and He makes beauty!
Christ says in Matthew 11 " ²⁸ "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves.


Why pass that up?
Why hold on to all the things that cause death?


I don't know, but what I do know is that He calls us to His side to lay those things down.
we don't have to pretend that things are all okay when they're not okay! =)
We can hand them over to Jesus and find rest =)


You Say Come a song I wrote a few months ago

Where I need to be

I feel like I'm there again
Man it's been a rough couple months
but the past two days have been very refreshing
wrote a new song today and started on 1 Timothy earlier today

Something pastor said this morning really stood out
now if I can only remember exactly what he said

Something about us making messes out of things =)

yknow
we do

and even still God makes beauty of the messes when we run to Him.

Spending the next week house sitting
me a few dogs and a huuuuge tv.
and the macbook lol

well I guess it's time to head to the house

Check out the new song =)
Lord You Restore With Your Love Yeah!

Well Rested Mind

Today I've been able to really focus
my mind has been at ease
in a way it hasn't been in a long time
and I really like this

totally got booby trapped at work this morning lol
looks like there will be an opener closer war =P
today at work I began to share the gospel with a co worker
i know the seed has been planted, but not sure where she stands

I'm glad I got to share though
work all round was great
right now I'm just at home resting

song for today

So much more

Last night is still on my mind. Constantly striving today to focus on God and God alone. It's hard though. Not gonna lie. It's a struggle.

I know I'm not abandoned
Pressed but not crushed

If I were to be honest. The thing that hurts the most is my pride. Letting go would be so easy were it not for that one part of me that's saying to try again and maybe things will be better. But um... That's all flesh talking.

I think proverbs 5 hits it right on the head.

Was gonna go hang out at lamberts tonight but that would just be bad news so I'm completely avoiding that.

Even after all that went down last night. It was still a great night. Left depression and hung out with friends. It's good to have good friends. Ya only need a few. And mine are golden.

disappointed in me

Well today has been a relaxing day so far. I've been running errands and listening to music all day. Got up and ready 1 Timothy 1 today, and it got me thinking. Where in my life is the boundary between loving someone regardless of who they are, and condoning their actions. I mean in Romans 1 Paul talks about people who applaud or condone wickedness, and in 1 timothy 1 it tells us that the law isn't for the righteous but for the wicked. It just got me thinking what is the boundary there. How can I personally love someone who does wicked things without condoning the things they do?

this will be on my mind all day
12:30 PM

Okay . . .
I'm realizing this about myself.
I put way to much time and effort into the wrong people
even when I'm not trying
even when I'm not realizing it
it hits me at times like tonight
and when it hits
it hits hard

sitting through what I sat through tonight
really hurt
worst feeling i've ever felt
i pretty much hated it
man things were going great. . .
for a year straight . . things were going great

gotta get rid of the distractions
nights like tonight are the ones that I find it hard to sleep
really hard to sleep

. . atm
I'm livid . . .
just plain livid. . .
9:29 PM

Gravity

    Today was a crazy case of gravity,or stress, mixed with great blessings. I woke up exhausted and then the stress began. My mom had me take her books to PSC to return them, but there were complications, I had a final, and I still had to get the music for tonight ready, so being able to sit and talk with a great friend, Carley Cash, and share laughs this morning was really great and much needed. I find that spending time with my bros in Christ and sisters in Christ brings me great joy.

Tonight when I was leading worship we sang a song called Yahweh, and the message of the song really captured me. As you all know the past few weeks have been pretty rough for me, but the words of the song say "Yahweh Yahweh, faithful God, You're here to stay. Yahweh Yahweh forever and always the same." Just the thought of that. God who is perfect in every way never changes. His faithfulness does not depend on mine, or anyone else's. I can think of plenty times in the past few weeks when I have been unfaithful to God and done things my own way. Yet He remains faithful regardless. He always does what He says He's going to do.  This doesn't mean that I think it's okay to go on sinning. I say no three times to that! His kindness should lead us back to repentance, and if it isn't then we may need to define that relationship.


Even though I've had rough weeks
Even if I'm on a mountain top
Whether in the climb up the mountain
Or the tumble to the valley
He is always there and will always strengthen me
to make it through
for my good
and FOR HIS GLORY!

Romans 8:28

Today though stressful
was a great day =)

The world through my eyes @11:56 AM

Midnight Bloggin

        I must say today was a great day. In fact it was the best day of the week. Work was great, and when I got home I had time to work on a few songs. Had a talk with a good friend today to, and got to hang out with my bro's. Call of Duty is amazing when you are playing with the right people. I'd been praying for an opportunity to hang out, and it came. I also had a witnessing opportunity today which I'm praying continues to grow into something incredible!

yeah . .
today was a great day.

STRANGERS

Finals Today

Well after this term
I'm honestly excited to start the next one. It's been a long time since I can actually say I've been busy with school, and I'm looking forward to new challenges. My exam starts in an hour and a half but I'm at the school with my guitar and laptop sitting in my car charging my battery.

For those
Who don't know
I really need a kill switch for my battery in my car =P

Dies every morning.

Anyway
Today I was thinking and thought of something true

Throughout history man has made a habit of trusting in themselves and making a mess of things. God has always made beauty of our messes. So why do we always seek independance from Him?

Just a thought
Well actually something to live by.

Well time to play my guitar
Peace

this is what the world looks like from my perspective

So far

this week was a good week

but to be honest

this past month, and I know you could tell from my posts

was one of the worst months I've had in a long time

School has been great

work . . .well I'm looking and praying about a new job

because I get no hours where I'm working now anymore

and well to be completely honest

after recent events

I've wanted to be in a relationship this past month

it's a pretty sucky feeling

because I want it because I'm on somewhat of a rebound

but I know I'm not in any shape to be in one lol

that's why it sucks the most

on top of that . . now girls are telling me they like me . . 

I'm thoroughly convinced Satan sees where I am and is trying his

hardest to distract me from what God has for me now

which is definitely not a relationship

I don't know my wife yet

so there's no point

music. . .well 

I haven't come out and said this yet . . 

GNS is no more

^^^^^ there we go it's official

and right now I'm not sure where to start

praying about it though (please pray persistantly with me about this) 

I haven't spent time with my closest friends in a while

those being Josh Ramos and Colton Cash

which really sucks

because in times like these ya gotta spend time with the Bro's in Christ

so . . .

how can life suck so much . .yetI honestly be okay?

I have hope =)

I know things wont always be this way.

I know that everything going on right now

Is a part of God's much bigger plan

His plan is bigger than today or tomorrow

or 2011 for that matter

and whatever He has for me is going to glorify Him

that's really all that's ever gonna matter

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I(God) know the plans I have for you(me)"-[this is] the Lords declaration "plans for [your] wellfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

whatever is going on

whatever this chaos is I know He's gonna make it all work out for good

Romans 8:28 For we know that God makes all things work together for the good of THOSE WHO LOVE HIM and ARE CALLED TO HIS PURPOSE!!!!

Philippians 4:11-13 I don't say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. 12 I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret [of being content]—whether well-fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. 13 I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.

so no matter what

regardless of my job

regardless of wanting a relationship but being single

regardless of hurt feelings

or broken friendships

regardless of what Satan throws my way to distract me

I, by the grace of God, WILL MAKE IT!

Life as I know it

is found in Knowing Christ

Blessings