The Worst Worship Experience of my life.....

And How God used it to give me peace.

     I remember so much about this day. I was very excited to lead worship for the church that I was attending at the time, once again. It was going to be an awesome week... OR SO I THOUGHT!!!

     The day of practice, I found out that our usual drummer would not be there, nor would our usual backup drummer. Now in my heart I already felt that this was bad news, but then I remembered that we had that backup backup drummer, so I thought to myself "okay it will all be cool." 

     Please keep in mind that at the time I was a youth worship leader, and the crew that I worked with was slightly smaller than the one that we work with on a Sunday morning. 

     Sunday morning rolls around.. We get through practice, and I feel like things were going to be alright... They weren't... Disaster would strike. It was a musical disaster for the first service, in my opinion, that is. People told me "good job." but I always have a look when I know it wasn't a good job and people tell me that. It's kinda this "please don't patronize me." followed by a smile and a thank you. In my mind, we could've done way better. 

     Second service rolls around... and suddenly I look to the doors of the building and the girl that I was dating at the time, though she was a member of another church, is standing there. I had two feelings at that moment. One feeling was like "THIS IS THE GREATEST SURPRISE EVER, SHE CAME TO SUPPORT ME!" 

     The other feeling.was like "OH GOD!!! NO!!! OH GOD!! NO!!!" 

     And no this wasn't taking the Lord's name in vain... This was serious. However on the outside, as usual, I kept my cool. I've learned to do that over the years. There was such a storm inside of me at the time though.

     And then it was time to take the stage once again. We began to play, and honestly things were going better. As we were singing one song, I looked out at the congregation to see everyone laughing. I had no idea what was going on at the time, so I just ignored the situation and kept going. We were singing songs, and everyone was having a good time. I was okay with this.

     Then I heard it, the sound of drumsticks hitting the ground, but this sound was a lot closer to me than it should've been. And I do mean A LOT CLOSER!

     Now I do have a habit of giving my drummers a look, when something weird happens, or when they do something incredibly awesome, this is because at heart I'm a drummer first, guitarist second, and a pianist/keyboard player third. 

     When I heard this noise I had to have shot the most deadly look back, before looking down to see that this stick had landed right by my foot. That laughter.... That laughter was because drumsticks were flying my way.

     It was the worst. Honestly, nothing I'd ever choose to live through again. 

     People told me that I did good regardless. I still felt beat down that day. 

     Since then I've had a few gigs that come close to the horror that was this day, but something is different. 

Here's what I took away from that day.

1. God gave me these talents and has empowered me, in any circumstance, to lead people in worship.
Sometimes crazy things are going to happen, and when they do, I can always count on Satan to whisper little lies in my ear. "This is your fault." "What were you thinking coming to lead worship here, you're just a youth worship leader." or the old fashioned "YOU SUCK!" 

I have to remember that God is going to use me. Even when sticks fly. God is going to use me.

If I'm doing what He's called me to do, then He is going to use me, for His glory.

2. I must choose my warriors, those who I'm going into musical battle with, wisely. If someone doesn't make the cut, go without.
Acoustic sets are just fine. God's not against them. He will use them.
If I'm doing what He's called me to do, then He will use me for His glory.

3. There will be better days.

I must remember that the grace that brought me this far is the same grace that will lead me home.
From a musical standpoint this means: Yes there will be times when things go wrong on stage, but that's okay. There have been more times that things were great than times that I've had sticks thrown my way. I know that there have been better days, and I know that there will be better days. Heck maybe some day that particular day will reveal itself to be a better day than some day that I'll have down the road lol. Regardless...

If I'm doing what He's called me to do, then He will use me for His glory.

If I were just going off of that day, and I believed Satan's lies... I wouldn't be leading worship here in Panama City, and I wouldn't even care to go to College for Contemporary Worship. V-CITY would've never been born either.

Thank You Lord for using even what felt like the worst day of my life at the time to teach me lessons in trusting You and being wise about who I take with me on this epic adventure called life.

Miracles: Feeling Like Death in the GNS days

Romans 8:28  For we know that God works all things together

for the good of those who love Him and are called to His purpose

And I pray that as I use this blog to talk about my experiences with Him, that He would, 

as He always has done,

 be faithful to His word and use my experiences for the good of those who trust Him and are called to His purpose. 

Whether that means to encourage you to never give up even when you feel like not going on, or maybe it just encourages you to talk about what He's done in your life more. I pray that it moves you.

I used to lead a band called Goodnight Saturday(GNS). Most of us were in the youth band at our church but it wasn't necessarily our youth band. We were the ones that played the music that I wrote. 

We'd played a few Disciple Nows back to back at our church and we really enjoyed it, and I still believe that God did big things with us. I may not be able to see the effect of everything He did,

but I know that He did big things.

     One year, as we were coming up to a disciple now, I got very sick, and I do mean very sick. At first I thought that I could just push through it. Get through the practices.  I didn't want to give it up, but I was in a pretty fair amount of pain. I can be a bit of a work horse, and a bit of a control freak when it comes to music if I'm not too careful, and at this particular time I may not have been being careful. We were only a day or two out from the gig, and as the sickness grew stronger I worried that I wouldn't even be able to do it just a little bit, but then I remembered something very important. I remembered that the place that I was in is where God had me.

     Skipping forward to the day of the gig. I can remember two other band mates becoming pretty sick over time. Now at this point we have three out of five band members feeling like death, but remembering that God called us to play this disciple now, and He wasn't going to let us down. We chose to trust. We did our practices, we fixed our slides, we got our lights set up, and we put our videos together. Once everything was done we had a little bit of time, so my bro, who was sick, and I went into the big church, that's what we called the main sanctuary, and I went to get rest on some of the chairs. I remember having a simple conversation with God about how I'm just going to trust that He was gonna have it under control, and then having a very short lived nap before hearing my bro say "Vince... it's time." 

    I got up, walked over to our youth building and watched the countdown timer. As the youth pastor got up to give announcements and then the lights went out. We walked on stage, and the keys began to play. 

   And all of the sudden it was gone. God had definitely empowered me that night, The Holy Spirit was upon us and working through us to lead a group of students in worship. This was indeed a miracle. That was honestly the first time that I truly recognized what was going on, that I can remember. I was sick, I followed where God would lead me, and I was healed and empowered to do what He had called me to do. Not to say that the Holy Spirit didn't have a  hand in the full blown process, because He most definitely did. This is just when I recognized. When I put down my control in the understanding that I'm desperate and can't do this on my own. I got to see Him move and recognize His movements. Not just in me, but in all of us on that stage... maybe one day I'll dig up the footage from this amazing night. It's a bit of a memorial stone for me.
   Here's what I learned through it all. God is faithful. He will call us to something and things will rise against us on our way. Sometimes those things can seem to pop out at what we perceive to be the worst time, but God is not shaken by them. His power is truly limitless and we will see Him bring us to victory as we look to Him. We will miss it if we choose to look away from Him. I also learned that I can't control everything, and that there comes a point where in my own heart I have to take a step back and say "Am I trying to do this on my own, or am I trusting that God is going to work through me?"
    Because I personally will try to move move mountains with my arms instead of my faith, if I'm not careful.

Lord keep my eyes fixed on You and Your glory, and keep my heart trusting in You.

I would encourage anyone reading this to go and check out the book of Joshua. Mainly for this particular topic of my life and what God has done, I'd say check out chapter 4!
DO EEEET!!!

This has been me talking about something that God has done in my life.

:)

There will be more to come.

Sin is sin is sin

We tend to say that don't we.
I mean we tend to say "it's okay because I've sinned. We all sin." We say that as if it's okay.

This morning as I'm going through Luke I'm reminded of why acting like it's perfectly okay to sin just because everyone does it is absolutely foolish!

First I must ask the question...
If everyone sets his or herself on fire, does that make it okay to do so to myself? Would I be okay with my friends doing that to thenselves?

I also must remember that the wages of sin is death!

Everyone sins...
Yes this is true, but it does not make sin an okay thing. It's not okay for the one who is sinning, it's not okay for those who have been sinned against, and it is not okay in God's eyes.

It's such a huge problem that God sent His ONLY BEGOTTEN SON to die on a cross to take the punishment, the powerful eternal holy wrath of God, for our sins. He rose again on the third day bringing abundant life. A life free from the chains of sin, and calls us to repentance.

He calls us to turn to Him and be freed from sins chains, trusting and following Him wherever He may go. He invites us to be His. He invites us, we who are too filthy to walk on His carpet and have no chance of cleaning ourselves, to be cleaned by Him at His cost so that we can be in His presence in His home, but we must confess that we are dirty, we must repent(turn away from a life bound by sin and TO THE SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST), and trust Him as our Lord (Lord meaning the boss or master. He's the One in charge now and that's okay because He is good! He is soooo good!)

Now on sin being sin being sin...

Here's what Jesus says to that.

At that time,  some people came and reported to Him about the Galileans whose blood Pilar had mixed with their sacrifices. And He responded to them,

"Do you think that these Galileans were more sinful than all Galileans because they suffered these things? No, I tell you; but unless you repent l, you will all perish as well! Or those 18 that the tower in Siloam fell on and killed - do you think they were more sinful than all the people who live in Jerusalem? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will perish as well!"

Luke 13:1-5

We don't have to perish eternally and we don't have to live lives dead in sin. Christ came and changed things. Perishing doesn't have to be our fate.

The wages of sin is death, yes
But the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord!!!
Romans 6:23

Ups and Downs of 2015 so far

Oh you've been a roller coaster this far. 

These ups and downs you've sent me on have been different.

I can say that I can look back at my past blogs and realized that I've learned a lot.

And I can say that I may have missed a few things that are popping back up this year lol.

Up

I have the opportunity to be a worship leader at one of two churches

I'm very excited about this! I mean it's like a wide open door and in my heart I've wanted this for a looooooooooong time. 

Down

Recently I got my heart broken.
(nope not by who you think)

It happened.

I look back on the past and I can totally see that I'm handling it so much better than I did back then.

God has brought me a long way in this area of life.

I know my joy and hope are found in Him so really even though it hurts, 

now less than a few weeks ago,

I'm pressing on.

Up

I've met great people this year and have had amazing adventures. From Westgate

to the mission team that I'm on right now, to raising up a new youth band for the church youth group that I've led worship for the past ten years. God has been with me through all of these adventures. With their highs and lows 

Down

I haven't been able to write a ton of music, but I think of it kinda like this...

I also haven't been able to perform all of my old music much to be honest. Not on a level that I want to. So even though it feels like a down, it really sets goals in stone for me to perform my 2 existing albums somewhere out there. If not here in Pensacola

Up

Closer to summer I felt disappointed. You see, I was hoping to end up at The Baptist College of Florida before the end of this year, and from where I'm standing right now it doesn't seem like that is going to happen soon. Soon being the key word here. In the midst of that disappointment God began to open doors that I didn't think that He'd open unless I went to The Baptist College of Florida...

(PRAYER REQUEST) Wisdom! Two doors but I can only choose one. 

I want to be where God is on this decision. 

Down

My family life is still rough. I wish I could go into detail, but I just won't.

It's just too much.

Pray about that too

Up

For the most part I can see the ups in the downs.

Consider it great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.

James 1:2-4

I can see that God has definitely chiseled much away from me over the years, and that He won't stop. So when trials come my way I can choose to look to Him knowing that He is working on me, not tempting me or making my life hard for kicks, but using the trials that come my way in life to shape me to the Likeness of Christ, or I can get mad, walk away, and never grow up.

I'd like to continue growing up.

From todays quiet time!

So a few days ago I began journaling again.

It is something that I feel is a part of me that I haven't done in a long time....

I haven't been myself for a while, and all the while God has been calling me back to life. Back to doing the things that minister to my heart as I spend time with Him. This is one of those things... Blogging and Journaling.

Here's what I read today.

3/20/15

Psalm 33

This is a Psalm of praise, and recognition

to God’s power and faithfulness. It starts off with a command for the righteous to rejoice in the Lord because the praise of the upright is beautiful v1

Eventually it begins to talk about the power and authority that God has. Verse 6 “The heavens were made by the word of the Lord, and all the stars, by the breath of His mouth.

v9 For He spoke, and it came into being; He commanded, and it came into existence.

Then we reach what is to me a very important part of this chapter, the truth about our strength and our own devices.

16-17A king is not saved by a large army; a warrior will not be delivered by great strength. The horse is a false hope for safety; it provides no escape by its great power.

20-22 We wait for the Lord; He is our help and shield. For our hearts rejoice in Him, because we trust in His holy name

May Your faithful love rest on us, Lord, for we put our hope in You.

We must remember that our hope must be in our God, for He is faithful. The things of this world and our worldly plans WILL FAIL! He is unfailing! This will not change!

“My hope is in You, God. I am steadfast. I will not be moved! I’m anchored never shaken. All my hope is in You.”