day 15: Difficult

The past two days have been hell. . . .
I'm emotionally exhausted dealing with some people
and I'm having serious problems getting past it
I could definitely use prayer on this
prayer for the grace to get past this
and the wisdom to not let it happen again. . .

sometimes it just seems like people are out to upset you
I'm tired of this old routine
Gotta move forward with my life

I'm trying to grow and I recognize this as a distraction
that I'm just having serious trouble getting rid of. . .

it's very frustrating!

day 13: Build Up but don't get inflated

Well I have lost my Boundaries book :( I know it's somewhere in my room though
funny thing is . . .
my rooms not dirty . . . .SIGH
besides that over all today has been a good day
got a little angry this morning though :/
ran into some family and transportation issues
plus learning to not try to fix things all the time
BY THE WAY THE GOODNIGHT SATURDAY EP IS OUT
GO LOOK ON NOISETRADE.COM AND TYPE IN GOODNIGHT SATURDAY
DOWNLOAD OUR EP FOR FREEEEEE!!!!

So I just read through 1 corinthians 8 for the second time

yesterday I just couldn't focus on what I was reading

however tonight God hit me with something

He hit me with the fact that sometimes

it's easy to get comfortable in our rights

and in our rights harm the walk of a brother or sister in Christ

one who may be a little weaker in the faith than we are

or maybe just a new believer

1 Corinthians 8:⁷ However, not everyone has this knowledge. In fact, some have been so used to idolatry up until now that when they eat food offered to an idol, their conscience, being weak, is defiled.⁸ Food will not make us acceptable to God. We are not inferior if we don’t eat, and we are not better if we do eat. ⁹ But be careful that this right of yours in no way becomes a stumbling block to the weak. ¹⁰ For if someone sees you, the one who has this knowledge, dining in an idol’s temple, won’t his weak conscience be encouraged to eat food offered to idols? ¹¹ Then the weak person, the brother for whom Christ died, is ruined^[b] by your knowledge. ¹² Now when you sin like this against the brothers and wound their weak conscience, you are sinning against Christ. ¹³ Therefore, if food causes my brother to fall, I will never again eat meat, so that I won’t cause my brother to fall.

Think about this though

not so much as a food standpoint here in america

we don't really worry about that kind of stuff

but in our everyday culture there are things that we are allowed to do

things that God doesn't say is wrong yet some people grew up believing they were wrong

NO I DON'T MEAN LIKE DRUMS IN CHURCH lol

Just think a new brother in Christ who was always taught

that all secular music was bad

now if I know this and I have that person in my car

is it really putting on a front to not listen to secular music

or is it simply me saying I don't want secular music to be the downfall of my brother

it's got nothing to do with my reputation

I know God isn't aiming at me with a lightning bolt if I listen to secular music

(in now way am I saying all secular music is okay. . 

some really is garbage)

But they may not know that right now.

So when I'm with them we switch on the ol K-Love

and Jam

If I'm alone and some oldschool backstreet boys is on while I'm scrolling through

the stations thats whats up 

or if I'm with friends who also know that God isn't aiming with a lightning bolt

at every vehicle playing secular music lol 

The point is to not in our knowledge of truth cause one to stumble

but instead in our love to build them up

as it says in 

1 Corinthians 8

Knowledge inflates with pride, but love builds up

day 10: Something Beautiful

That's why I'm doing this.
I said that I'm not going to pursue a relationship for a long time
but instead going to let God work on me so that I become
a man of God
A man who is able to be in a relationship
in a way that pleases Christ
God has a lot of working to do in me
and I'm allowing Him to work on me
bringing me to righteousness through obedience
and honestly it's hard

in many ways

Being obedient is hard. Starting out I'm having struggles

giving up certain parts of my life that don't glorify God

things that I pray for a broken heart over 

not just to get rid of them

but instead to replace them with the things of God

For God didn't just come so that we stop doing bad things

but instead that we begin to live in POWER!!

And that we do what is righteous and holy 

≈

Another hard part is simply knowing that there is someone

that I have feelings for

someone that I have strong feelings for

trusting in God to say

Lord I'm going to not worry about how I feel right now

because God You feed the birds and clothe the lilies of the field

(matt 6:25-34)

Simply saying God I know this is how I feel right now

but I'm seeking first Your kingdom regardless

seeking Your righteousness regardless

And through that God is going to move my heart

through the obedience and trusting of Him

Being in His word when I want to be getting into trouble

Practicing righteousness when my flesh wants to practice wickedness

Leaving conformity behind

and being transformed 

by the renewing of my mind

Romans 12:1-2

allowing God to create in me

a mind that says

Through Christ I have POWER to truly live!

going on to something beautiful

Day 8: Foundation Set but What is built?

2 Corinthians 3:¹⁰ By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as a wise builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should build with care. ¹¹ For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. ¹² If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, ¹³ their work will be shown for what it is,because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. ¹⁴ If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. ¹⁵ If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.

wait a minute let's breathe that in

read it again real quick

Paul says here that the foundation has already been laid

Christ is the foundation

!!!BUT!!!

Though the foundation has been laid, there is still building to do

    I FINALLY GET THIS!!!! 

I see what's going on here 

because I see how it has played out in my life. 

In my life yes my foundation is Christ

there have been times though where I have not been careful

about how I build upon that foundation

instead of putting my stock in growth in Christ

there have been plenty of times where I put my stock

in things that don't matter in the end

having a good foundation for my house

but a poor build

on Christ the Solid Rock my house stood

yet my house was made out of Hay . . 

get it!

In the same way I'm sure many can relate to me

to those points in time where we are not careful

where we just sometimes don't even think about what were doing

we just kinda try to build our lives on our own 

we put our stock into cool stuff

and leave the kingdom of God in the back of our minds

then the fire comes

and when the fire comes

whatever can withstand remains

but the things that can't take the fire

which often times we do put most of our stock into

those things fade away!

and we get so mad

we get miserable

we forget who we are

we forget that we can't live on the things of this world

and hopefully the love of God through our pain

draws us in to Him


as it says 
we escape but barely
as one escaping through the flames

Other times in my life I've seen this played out this way

I am putting my stock into Christ

growing in the word and building a sturdy house upon the foundation

sure there are things that don't matter in there too,

but the house is a sturdy one

or in my case

the empire :)

and then the fire comes

and the things that don't matter

they are burned away

but I rejoice in what I do have

because I have delighted in the Lord

I know where the true desires of my heart are

Psalm 37:4-5

My prayer for this scripture is that

God would lead me to remember this

to remember that I'm constantly building my empire

and that it needs to be sturdy

because there will be storms

there will be fires

there will be enemy raids

LIFE IS GOING TO HAPPEN

IN A VERY REAL WAY

and the last thing I need is to have my heart wrapped up

in all the things that don't matter in the end

all the worldly things

How does an Xbox become more important than God?

How does a guitar become more important than God?

How does my ego become more important than God?

while my xbox and guitar may not be bad things . .

if they become idols

and then are lost

I face un needed misery

but my hearts desire

my hearts true desire

found in Christ

Day 7: Wellspring Corrupted pt2

So today I want to look at judges 10 again.
if you want to catch up just check out the blog post before this one.
I kinda left off in a spot that should have us thinking about
where it is that our loyalty is. Are we worshipping God,
or are we worshipping gods.

Yes two totally different things

God is the loving all powerful creator of the universe

He is the one who rescues us

He is the one who fulfills us

gods . . 

are man made things

things that were made out of what God made

Now don't get it twisted . . 

worship is more than just singing

we put worship and music in the same category

as if they are the same thing these days

no no no no no no no 

Music is a way to worship

but God delights in obedience

not sacrifice

Worship . . 

is what fan girls do to Justin Bieber

it's what we do when we think something or someone 

truly is 

AMAZING

Sometimes we simply don't worship little man made things

sometimes we simply worship people

we deem them worthy of our best pursuit

Some people do drugs because they want to fit in with a crowd

some go to church because they want to be a part of a crowd

some worship themselves and do whatever they want

sometimes we worship rules and religion 

and when we do that we drive ourselves away from God

instead of closer.....

Now aint that somethin?

We go to concerts of our favorite artists

and we cheer our butts off

we leave and talk about how great the concert was

how awesome that band is

we do this with movies and video games too

I fear that we've become so idolatrous 

because we do this so much

speaking about myself here

I want to be more crazy about Christ

than a Justin Beiber fan girl is about Beiber

I want to be undignified for Him

like David was

I want to be a man after God's heart

that takes admitting 

that our wellsprings are corrupter though

after having read this in Judges I can see places where my wellpring

is definitely corrupted more so than I did before God showed it to me

I can see that I have idols in my life

things that are dangerous

things that don't seem dangerous

that can destroy

Now in the midst of the Israelites idolatry they became oppressed

and in their oppression 

they cried out to God and His response was

I have delivered you before time and time again,

but this time you've decided to worship other gods

so now I will not deliver you

Go can cry to your other gods

(paraphrasing Judges 10:11-14)

!!!WOAH!!! 

we think to ourselves 

why would God say such a thing 

but I see what's going on here later in the chapter

At this point . . 

the Israelites were miserable, but not miserable enough

to give up their idols.

This wasn't a cry of worship or humility

this was a cry of "Oh God will get us out of this"

But God said no at this point

I mean. . they still had all these idols to deal with

God aint playin second fiddle to NOBODY or NOTHING

He's worthy of 1st place

He doesn't even need to share the track!

I'm reminded of lyrics from Lecrae "Lord empty out my life before I put You on the shelf"

Saying God get rid of the things that could drag me away from worshipping You

before I pick them up and put You down!

After God said no it clicked for them

they said to God "We have sinned do with us as You see fit."

and they got rid of all their idols and worshipped God

And when that happened God grew weary of their misery

not in a 

"I'm tired of hearing yall cry"

sorta way but in a

"Alright I'm going to rescue my people. I don't want to see my people

oppressed." 

Type of way

In our lives idols will find their way in

we must be ready to face them 

we must not leave our hearts open for things

to come in and drag us away

remember

The enemy(satan) prowls around like a lion seeking to devour us 1 Peter 5:8

He is very crafty and deceiving 

and our most useful weapon is the word of God

Feeding our spirit instead of our flesh

Being in God's word opens our eyes to the things that are Holy

and the things that are unholy

Being in God's word draws us closer to Him

and the closer we get to Him

the more amazed we are

Applying God's word

being obedient to it yields the rewards

of awe and wonder

The blessings of obedience

even . . no . . .ESPECIALLY WHEN OBEDIENCE IS HARD!!!!

being out of God's word

not applying it . . .

simply gives us death

we have no stability

nothing to stand on

no water for our trees

my prayer

is that for humility

wisdom to get rid of the things that hinder my worship of God

that as I spend more time in His word I would grow to apply more and more

Grow me into more of a FANATIC Lord

I wanna be more crazy for You than ever before

I want to be undignified like david

for the whole world to see

I want to be scolded for my love for the

Immeasurable Incomparable

Glorious King

Let my heart be Your throne Lord

DAY 6: Wellspring Corrupted!

Well this is day 6 out of 3 months of simply growing up into a man of God

This morning I'm reading in Judges. I finished up chapter ten,

This hit me really hard

Judges 10: 6  Then the Israelites again did what was evil in the sight of the Lord. They worshiped the Baals and the Ashtoreths, the gods of Aram, Sidon, and Moab, and the gods of the Ammonites and the Philistines. They abandoned Yahweh and did not worship Him.


I really thought deep into this one and it rings me forward to Romans 1


Romans 1:28 And because they did not think it worthwhile to acknowledge God, God delivered them over to a worthless mind to do what is morally wrong.


Now don't get me wrong I don't see this as saying God wanted them to do 
what was evil in His sight, but instead He allowed them to. Clearly this was 
a choice of theirs. They decided to begin worshipping Idols 
although God clearly said not to
in fact God even told the Israelites in the past not to even
be involved with those who do worship the other idols


but the Israelites, after all God had done and brought them through, at some point
lost their worthwhile. They lost their fire to worship Him and instead figured
they'd try out "new things" 


They began joining in with the things this world does
and not all of the things this world does are BAD THINGS,
but when good things become god they become idols
therefore making them a bad thing

I don't think Israel set out to lose their passion for God

I believe that they were slowly but surely seduced 

seduced by the things of this world

slowly they began to put God on a backburner of their hearts

giving room for other things to come into their hearts

Proverbs 4:23

Guard your heart, above all else, for it is the wellspring of life

Their wellsprings of life had become corrupt

and they had walked away from God

and how often this happens in our lives

sometimes for hours

sometimes for day

We aren't careful to guard our hearts

with scripture

with faith

and with power

We get seduced

we sometimes get so seduced

 that we find ourselves falling away from all the things of God

to go try something "new"

become obsessed with things

that we ought not obsess over

and God is a jealous God

not an envious God

but a Jealous God

He is worthy 

of worship

in fact

our worship is DUE to Him

when we allow ourselves to obsess over earthly things

what we say to the creator 

is simply

"God You are not worthy of my worship

but this thing that you have created is"

. . .well ain't that silly. . .

I feel like I need to stop here

and pick up tomorrow

this is gonna be a two part thing.

don't worry

THERES HOPE FOR THE SEDUCED!!!!

Day 4: A fight with forgiveness

So much pent up hurt
so much resentment that I never knew I was really holding onto
and what's worse is that I knew I was holding on to a lot of things
but not this much.....

it's not stuff I haven't talked to people about
it's just stuff that they've disregarded. .
and maybe that's what hurts the most....

the fact that I know they aren't sorry
and I feel like I'm owed something

but it doesn't matter ya know
I don't want to feel this way anymore
I just want to forgive them anyway
I don't want to feel like I'm trapped in a cell of my own unforgiveness

I've thought about writing letters of forgiveness to people

sending them to them . . 

or even throwing them away

so much yes where no should have been in my life

so much

I'm sorry if this seems to be depressing to my readers

but it's really something that needs to get off of my chest and out there in the open

so many times where I've felt stabbed in the back

and for some reason they still haunt me

and the worst part is. . . .

i didn't even really realize how bad it was

until today

I thought I had all this under control

but I don't

Lord fix me

Fix my heart to be forgiving to those who have hurt me

help me to trust that vengance is yours

and to love them regardless 

with a true love

amen

Day 2: I've found my hearts cry

Today was Fathers day. . .
for me a strange day
I did however spend time with really good friends
in fact my closest friends . . .
the closest thing I have to family

ya know in Proverbs where it says that there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. . .

well I have a few of them

Didn't see my real dad much today . .
it's strange having lived in the same house but not having
a true relationship with him for so long in my life :/

today I wanted to want to do something nice for him . . .
it was strange
maybe I'll invite him out to a movie tomorrow . . .
looking back even though he was very passive there were those moments
where I felt wanted as a child

nights where we'd go on a ride in the car and go get ice cream or something
(Christian if you're reading this yes I know lol we got ice cream)

I wish there were more moments like that to look back to
but hey maybe there are more moments like that to look forward to instead

so tonight I was going through scripture searching for encouraging
scripture for a friend and I came across something

Psalm 86: 11 

Teach me Your way, Yahweh,

and I will live by Your truth.

Give me an undivided mind to fear Your name. 

12 I will praise You with all my heart, Lord my God,

and will honor Your name forever.

Wow when I read that my heart jumped
It's the cry of my heart
I kind of want to get it tattoo'd on my body somewhere
but for now I will just write it everyday and have it written onto my heart


Because I want to know the ways of God
His ways are not like our ways 
our ways are wicked and His ways are righteous
as His child I want to be like Him
Holy!


He calls us to holiness, but so often we find ourselves just being worldly.
To be Holy means to be set apart
to be different from this world in the same way that God is
and I know that Christ works in us to perfect us and make us holy
when we trust, obey, and allow Him to work in us


My prayer is for faith to trust, obey, and allow God to work in me.
Can I just be honest and say when I don't trust Him
when I trust in me I blow it . . . 


sometimes in big ways that can affect my future career
my future spouse
my future children


sometimes in big ways that can affect 
my present relationships


When I trust in Him, He doesn't steer me in the wrong direction

SO LORD GIVE ME MORE FAITH TO TRUST YOU

CAUSE I'M DROWNING IN A SEA OF ME LATELY

I want Him to teach me His ways more and more everyday
I want to love the things that He loves
I want to hate the things that He hates
I want Him to continue to make me Holy


this is my prayer

Dia 1: Nothing in Particular

it's been a pretty good day
these are the easy ones. . . or maybe the hard ones
the ones where life seems all good and you feel like you deserve what you don't need
Idk

anyway today I was reading in Judges and I'm at the part where God is having Gideon
downsize his army. God makes the point that with a large army the Israelites wouldn't
glorify God for a battle won. They would basically just say "look what we did" when the reality
of the situation is that the reason they were going to win this battle was because
God was going to deliver their enemies to them.

God first had Gideon tell the people that if they were afraid to simply turn back
this lowered the number of the men a lot
however God was still not satisfied with the number of people in the army

So God had Gideon do one more downsizing.
When the army stopped for water all of the men who knelt down
to drink water were not to fight but to stay in camp
and all the men who cuffed water in their hands and drunk the water were to fight

there were only 300 men who cuffed the water

most people say that God did it this way because those who cuffed the water
in their hands were still battle ready whereas those who were kneeling over the water
had dropped their guard maybe yes maybe no

alls I know is that Gideon was now working with a much smaller army
than he began with.

this is as far as I've gotten today, but thinking about this
I see that sometimes God has us downsize our armies so that He can
show us that Yes it is Him who glorifies us and to Him be all the glory
Though we have few resources
when God is on our side
nothing can stop us

We must trust Him though
and in victory we ought to give Him glory
in fact
as His children when He brings victories
even in the small things
it's always good to thank Him and give glory
it's always good to tell people about the things that He does in our lives
whether they be big or small

if we stop testifying
we stop reminding ourselves and others of where our victory comes from
when we stop reminding ourselves and others where our victory comes from
we forget where our victory comes from
when we forget where our victory comes from
we rely on ourselves . . .

and then . .

we lose!

Lets not be losers

testify!!!!!

Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

#Checkoutthechapter

The light meets the dark

So lately as I'm building my empire I'm learning a few things

I'm learning that building my empire means

knowing where to start and focusing on one or two spots at a time

that way I can truly build and empire that is properly built 

1. on the solid rock of Christ

and

2. in a way that isn't rushed

Over the past couple of months I've been looking into my life

noticing things that must be fixed about myself 

things that can only be fixed by trusting in God to provide healing

There have been ups and downs but I know I'm making progress

I'm reminded of the song "Stand with You" that I wrote

when I simply say

"Set me on the solid ground with no more sinking sand. Lord I want to stand with You."

So much of my life has gone to sinking sand thinking I was okay

and that it was natural

It was only until the past few years that I really start to notice a lot of things

about myself that needed to change

things that I was afraid to move forward in

This year I began really confronting those things 

with the help of my brothers in Christ 

Josh Ramos, Colton Cash, and Jonathan Hill

and a few others

I can say there were deep dark corners of my life

that I was so afraid that people would disown me about

yet when I shared them with my closest people 

I came in contact with the true love of Christ 

since then I've been able to confront things in my life

that I thought had a noose around my neck

through prayer, accountability, restoration when I fall, council, and just knowing 

that I have brothers in Christ who are there for me 

it's been a journey

and one I'm still on

God is still working in me and He's not gonna stop no time soon

I know that He is making me greater by the day as I trust in Him

and when I fall He is faithful and just to cleanse me from all unrighteousness

when I confess that I messed up

So I do my best to walk in Holiness 

to walk in the spirit and let God teach me

and fight against the flesh 

I'm on the way to something beautiful with my King

can't wait til I get there

Forward March

well. . . tonight
has been kinda bleh to be honest
got off work at 10 and since then I have just kinda chilled
read Judges chapter 4 for the second time. . .
intense

she drove a tent spike. .
through his temple!!!!!!!!!

SIIIIIICK NAAAAASTY!!!!!!

nah but I did get something out of it
when Deborah asked that guy if the Lord commanded him to take his army
and whoop up on those people and the guy said yes he attached a but to his yes . .
because of that he wasted time and he lost a blessing that was meant for him
he also said that he would not go do what God said to do if Deborah didn't go with him . . .

we can't live like that though
we can not put off God's commands on our lives for other people

when God says it's time to move it's time to move
and if people want to sit around and not move we have to be willing to move without them
those who want to move will move, but we can't make anyone move
we shouldn't lose our blessing on account of someone else
no matter how sorry we feel for them
we shouldn't miss out on what God has for us for anyone else
regardless of how sorry we feel for them or how much we love or like them

Lately these kinds of things have happened in my life
and honestly it's not easy just moving forward without people
who you care about
but I also have experience in missing out because of people I care about
Seeing where God is taking me now I'm greatful that I get the opportunity
to move forward with or without those I've had to leave behind
sure I wish they could come on this grand adventure with me,
but the choice not to do it was their own
this is what God has for me

so I'm moving forward

Hectic!

Yeah. . . that's what this week has been
sure I've gotten things done, but I feel like I've struggled to spend time with God
in the midst of everything. Which has lead my heart into places I don't like my heart being
Tonight has been the first time that I just get to be in the word because I'm not just pure
exhausted from my day.

I've gotten music recorded,

 but what does it matter without time with the God who inspires my heart to write the music? 

I've got to slow down a little bit

gotta breathe and drink some livin water!

Also learning that I have to be really serious about 

saying no to things I shouldn't commit to

recently I bought a book called boundaries. . .

it's an incredible book

It pointed out a lot of things to me about myself

and my problems with not being able to say no on the outside

but saying yes on the inside

basically this book has been helping me by showing me how broken I am

and pointing me to the healer, Christ, who empowers me to take 

the steps that I need to move forward unbroken

He not only is healing me but He's perfecting me!

but yeah . . this weeks been hectic

LONG TIME NO SEE!!!!

been a while hasn't it
well for those that read this that I don't know about
I want you all to know that I gots me macbook back
so that means I am able to blog more

I hadn't blogged in so long because well. . .
i hate doing it from the iphone . . . seriously
touchscreen -_- sigh

!!!!EXCITING NEWS!!!!

I have begun recording and album!

The band?

Goodnight Saturday of course

the title

The Popular Belief 

release date JULY 31st

SO! I'm really diggin how the album is coming out. 

The album comes from a perspective of my heart on two subjects.

1. What does this world tell us is good for us, and is it really good enough to satisfy?

2. What God shows us is truly good for us and how it does truly satisfy!

Get It

What's popular isn't what's best

What's Holy is what's best

STOKED!

So for those of you who know some of my music

I'm really excited for you to hear the recordings of songs like "In You"," Live it Tell it", and "The Hype" Gotta be honest though. "The Wakeup Call(twitter tangle)" has yet to make it to an album ready song I still have work to do on that song, but you guys can be sure that it will definitely make it to an album :) well I gotta run!!!!

Here's a link to the GNS facebook

you can check out a whole bunch of  . . . well terribly unfinished music with a good message :)

  https://www.facebook.com/goodnightsaturday09