Day 2: I've found my hearts cry

Today was Fathers day. . .
for me a strange day
I did however spend time with really good friends
in fact my closest friends . . .
the closest thing I have to family

ya know in Proverbs where it says that there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. . .

well I have a few of them

Didn't see my real dad much today . .
it's strange having lived in the same house but not having
a true relationship with him for so long in my life :/

today I wanted to want to do something nice for him . . .
it was strange
maybe I'll invite him out to a movie tomorrow . . .
looking back even though he was very passive there were those moments
where I felt wanted as a child

nights where we'd go on a ride in the car and go get ice cream or something
(Christian if you're reading this yes I know lol we got ice cream)

I wish there were more moments like that to look back to
but hey maybe there are more moments like that to look forward to instead

so tonight I was going through scripture searching for encouraging
scripture for a friend and I came across something

Psalm 86: 11 

Teach me Your way, Yahweh,

and I will live by Your truth.

Give me an undivided mind to fear Your name. 

12 I will praise You with all my heart, Lord my God,

and will honor Your name forever.

Wow when I read that my heart jumped
It's the cry of my heart
I kind of want to get it tattoo'd on my body somewhere
but for now I will just write it everyday and have it written onto my heart


Because I want to know the ways of God
His ways are not like our ways 
our ways are wicked and His ways are righteous
as His child I want to be like Him
Holy!


He calls us to holiness, but so often we find ourselves just being worldly.
To be Holy means to be set apart
to be different from this world in the same way that God is
and I know that Christ works in us to perfect us and make us holy
when we trust, obey, and allow Him to work in us


My prayer is for faith to trust, obey, and allow God to work in me.
Can I just be honest and say when I don't trust Him
when I trust in me I blow it . . . 


sometimes in big ways that can affect my future career
my future spouse
my future children


sometimes in big ways that can affect 
my present relationships


When I trust in Him, He doesn't steer me in the wrong direction

SO LORD GIVE ME MORE FAITH TO TRUST YOU

CAUSE I'M DROWNING IN A SEA OF ME LATELY

I want Him to teach me His ways more and more everyday
I want to love the things that He loves
I want to hate the things that He hates
I want Him to continue to make me Holy


this is my prayer