I knocked and love opened the door everytime...

     Ya know I've never been so free as I am today. Now that I look back on how God has continued to free me from things holding me down, I realize that He has brought me so far from where I began, a lost sinner stuck in the belief that this world was golden. He's brought me closer to Him to the truth that He is all I'll ever need. He is my hearts desire. He is my reason for living. He is the provider of the abundance of my life, and He gives so graciously. He rescued me from the dead life, and has poured abundant life out onto me as I've followed Him since. 

    Now don't get it twisted. This hasn't happened just because I said some prayer, but because I've sought God out in my life, and as I've knocked He has answered. He has revealed Himself to me as I have searched for Him. Whether it has been with the bad breakups, the feelings of loneliness, or even just every day "simple" things in life. As I've sought Him out, He has shown Himself to me, and has lead me to places I'd never have dreamed. 

    There were times when I would lose focus of Him though, and those times often started off with me thinking I had things all figured out. Especially when it came to relationships... I let one person into my life for six years that I thought that I could rescue, and sought with my heart to rescue. Meanwhile God was calling me to just let go. That relationship was causing me way to much stress, and in the end I would always get hurt. When I finally just surrendered that to God, the most amazing things happened. One I found freedom in the fact that I was able to stand up and say "no more" because of the strength found in Him to persevere. Two I got my relational focus back onto Christ, who has helped me to pour it out on those who treasure me. Three I've learned to treasure the right things: Christ, my friends, justice, opportunities to share the gospel, the passion to lead worship that God has given me. God has awakened my heart more and ore in life, as the things that get in the way get surrendered. 

     I use this example simply because I know that people can really understand this example. I don't know how things went for the other person. I do know that God has revealed Himself, in something I thought would be a tragic loss, to be my hearts deepest desire.

So I'll Chase You

I'll Chase You to the ends of the earth

and God I wont stop cause I know that You're worth it

You're worth it 

Yes You are

Emotional Disaster

Today

I was looking forward to a good day

but this morning when I woke up

all I could think about is all that I've lost in the past 6 months

     It's crazy though every thing I lost in the past 6 months has been something I thought was good for me that just ended up hurting me in the long run, and since I've lost those things and just been running toward God, and even shutting the door on opportunities to pick those things back up again... For some reason this morning I feel as if I've lost.... After such an amazing weekend that God brought me through and blessed and I know He is even blessing me now with His comfort and presence here and now.... I feel.... well ya know that feeling in your chest when you're just upset about something. That's how I feel. 

so here's what I'll hold onto in the midst of this emotional disaster

Romans 8:28 for we know that God works all things together

for the good of those who love Him

and are called to His purpose

not all good things happen to those who love Him and are called to His purpose,

but whatever happens good or bad He molds it into something that

works out for the good of those who love Him and are called to His purpose

God's gonna bring me through this day

He's all I got to hold on to

Beginning of a Judas Kiss

     Last night things were very slow at work, and that gave me some time to pop out the kindle and spend some extra time in God's word. I began reading through Matthew chapter 26 and something popped out at me. In Matthew 26 we see a woman with a very expensive bottle of perfume, and I do mean VERY EXPENSIVE, pour it all out on Jesus. We see a beautiful picture of pure worship. We see a beautiful picture of pure ministry. This woman was giving all there was to her name to worship Jesus!
     As the disciples looked on at this situation, they became very pharasitic<---- made up word :). They started to rebuke her under their breath. I can imagine they were saying things to each other like

"Oh she's crazy!"

"That is very expensive perfume! Why would she do that!?"

we know they said "She could've sold it and gave that money to the poor."

     But what they didn't get was that this was an act of worship! They didn't quite at this moment understand giving their all, simply because Jesus is worthy. They had walked with Him and talked with Him for so long, but didn't quite understand this act of passion. So Jesus rebuked them. He explained to them that the poor would be with them later, but He would not. Jesus was getting ready to go to the cross, and here this woman is still saying "YOU ARE WORTHY OF MY PRAISE!" 

     Not with her voice, no, but with her actions.

     When Judas saw this I can imagine something terrible happened in him. He simply gave up on Jesus. The life that Jesus called them too was "too hard" or "too crazy" for them. He felt inside that Jesus needed to go. So he went and it gets me even how we asked the question. "How much will you give me if I give Jesus over to you?"

WOAH!!!! 

Judas hadn't even put any worth in Christ......

Think about that question!

He wasn't even willing to haggle!

THEY GAVE HIM 30 PIECES OF SILVER!!!!!

COME ON!!!!!

now yes we are well aware that this had to happen

for Jesus to go to the cross

this was prophesied, but lets really think about how this went down

in the heart of Judas

     Judas was a disciple. He had seen Christ do great things, and he even did great things in Jesus name, such as cast out demons and many other things that many will say LORD LORD about (Matthew 7:22-23), but there was still a disconnect. A disconnect with the heart of Judas and who Jesus is. I imagine that Jesus wanted super power Jesus, who only did miracles, and used His powers to gain earthly status, but such was not the case. Jesus wasn't who Judas wanted Him to be, and eventually that got to Judas. Judas had yet to accept Christ as who He truly is. Not just some earthly king here to overthrow the government, and free the jews, but the Lord of all here to overthrow the powers of sin, break chains, and restore us back to God. Judas didn't get that. He wanted action and he wanted it now, and when it finally clicked for Judas that Jesus wasn't who he thought He'd be, Judas walked out with his heart.

     Judas was with Christ all that time and yet he still had a misplaced belief of who Christ is. Once his belief fell through, he found Christ as worthless, and thus began the beginning of the Judas kiss.

Oh but how often do we see this in todays culture

many grow up in the church believing things about Christ that are wrong

yet they wont go and spend time in His word to truly know Him

after all it is the preachers job to tell us about Jesus

Many parents don't spend time teaching their children about Christ

after all that is AWANA's job

that's the youth pastors job

that's the life group leader, or sunday school teachers job

Lack of being in God's word

leads us to a misplaced belief in who He is

when our beliefs fall through

for the most part we tend to want to walk away

two things

1. If you have walked away because Christ isn't who you thought that He was

I challenge you to read the gospels and see who He IS

2. If you have a belief in who Christ is, but you KNOW YOU DON'T SPEND TIME IN THE WORD, GET THERE FAST!!! Don't end up finding out that you never knew Christ!

YOU DON'T WANT THAT!!

Nobody Knows The Day Nor The Hour

Tis True

Nobody but God know the day nor the hour that Jesus is coming back

ah the end of the world

we quote that scripture a lot

the whole nobody knows the day nor the hour,

but I wonder how many of us remember what else was said there

I wonder if many actually paid attention to the part about the signs of the end

     Yesterday on my journey through the book of Matthew I made it to chapter 24 and I realized something. I realized that though God's word does say that nobody know the day nor the hour, He doesn't leave us in the dark about the signs. He says that there will be many coming and saying that they are Him, but they will be false yet still deceive many. There will be wars and rumors of wars. There will be earthquakes in various places, and what I gather from various places is that there will be earthquakes where earthquakes should not be. There will be famine in many places, and He says that this is just the beginning of the birth pains of the return of the King!

    

Think about that though. 

Those things sound horrific. Don't they? 

But these are signs of the returning of our KING! 

They are signs of the true ruler of the world coming to reveal Himself to the world!

In all of His splendor and all of His glory!

     Jesus says later that there will be great persecution upon His people! People will be betrayed by friends and loved ones for Christ name sake. The persecution the church will face will not be simple internet bullying, or dealing with arguments at school, work, or other places. No the persecution we will face will be us being put to death! But Jesus says in verse 13 

"But the one who endures will be delivered!"

Which brings me to today

as children of God

as the Kingdom of God

the question we must ask ourselves

is this

Where do we stand?

Think about that question...

There are clearly rough times ahead

Will we choose to endure in Christ or will we relent to this world

that choice is not a choice that can be made 

when the time comes

but one that must be made DAILY

it's a choice that must be put into practice DAILY

how can we expect to stand for Christ in the midst of all that

if we won't even say His name in public now,

if we won't even spend time with Him now,

and if we won't live for Him now

what will we ever do when that time comes?

Stand up, stand up for Jesus, ye soldiers of the cross;
Lift high His royal banner, it must not suffer loss.
From victory unto victory His army shall He lead,
Till every foe is vanquished, and Christ is Lord indeed

     

Something beautiful?

     Last night before youth group, my day seemed to be falling apart. From having problems with my family to issues with our church sound system. I had plans for that day, and none of them came to fruition. God had different plans. I just didn't realize it yet. I probably will never really understand what God's intention on everything was, but it was a most humbling day for me. You see I had a worship set planned. A ROCKING WORSHIP SET! It was supposed to be EPIC! The first night of 2013 BRINGING IN THE NEW YEAR WOOHOO!!! Oh but God had something different planned. Something better. Something that nearly brought me to tears quite a few times.
     First the truck was taken by a family member so I had to find another way to get to church, and when we stepped into the fellowship hall to practice we noticed that someone had tampered with the sound system. Everything was turned all the way down and no sound men were there to help us get things back on track. Now as for turning things up, we totally understand that, but someone had tampered with it in another way, and we absolutely couldn't fix stuff at all. We've had this issue before though. We were kind of hoping not to do an acoustic set. Turns out that's what God wanted. This was the first time that I was able to really hold my composure under this circumstance, which shows me that God is growing me.
     During the practice I found myself throwing up silent prayers about my pride. Though I was holding my composure, on the inside I was angry with the fact that people would mess with that sound system again. It had just got fixed and it was great! I had plans for it! To be honest on the inside I was pissed off. My bandmates were trying to make jokes with me, but it was just making things worse, but I had to hold my composure. That is one of the hardest things to do. When you really just want to tear into someone for something they have said or done, but the only things you can do to make it better is accept that they did it and forgive them. Stuff just seemed to be piling up! The printer stopped working for some reason, so I couldn't print out new music, and with the time spent trying to put everything back together I couldn't quite get the words to get onto the screen.
     It seemed like a disaster.

Sometimes the beginning of something beautiful

seems like a disaster

     Before we began I really didn't want to talk about the sound system issue, and the first thing our youth pastor did was let the group know that the sound system was down once again. -_- sigh

Then we began to play the song "Your Love Never Fails"

All that stuff seemed to go away 

when faced with these words

"Nothing can separate even if I run away.

 Your love never fails. I know I still make mistakes but, 

You have new mercies for me everyday. Your Love never fails."

My heart had to turn away from the fact that technology had failed

that my family had failed me that day

that I felt like I was failing other people

and I realized something

I can't plan the Holy Spirit moving

I don't get to make the plans of how God is going to show up,

but I do get to join Him where He is

I don't get to choose what God is going to use for His purpose,

but He does let me join in on the mission

     That's when the peace came over me. There were actually times where I almost just couldn't say words because I wanted to cry. So they probably kinda sounded like slurred words, but just thinking about my day and how much faith I had put in so much stuff it just hit me. I'd put my faith in me, the truck, the sound system, my family, and the printer. All of these things let me down that day, and even still. GOD DIDN'T! He instead used all of my misplaced faith to show me what I was missing out on. 

2 Timothy 2: 13

if we are faithless He remains faithful,

for He cannot deny Himself

     So caught up. I'm seeing that God is really showing me how easily my focus can be rattled lately. Not just for the purpose of saying "HEY YOU SUCK" but for the purpose of saying "Here's something I'm working out of you." It was peaceful to sit there with a piano and sing about God. Just to sing about who He is. He reminded me and the those worshipping with me of who He is. . . . 

funny thing is....

had things gone my way....

we would have never done that first song

we would have rocked out

and no change in my heart would have been made

I would have went home thinking to myself

. . . .

that was fun

. . . . 

instead

I went home changed

Romans 8:28

for we know that God makes ALL(this includes the hard things) things

work together for the good of those who love Him

and are called to HIS purpose

it's His purpose

we don't get to pick how He carries it out

but we do get to join in and experience Him do GREAT things

things beyond our imagination

We get to see Him take things we think are small

and blow the worlds minds with them

BECAUSE HE'S JUST THAT GREAT