Something beautiful?

     Last night before youth group, my day seemed to be falling apart. From having problems with my family to issues with our church sound system. I had plans for that day, and none of them came to fruition. God had different plans. I just didn't realize it yet. I probably will never really understand what God's intention on everything was, but it was a most humbling day for me. You see I had a worship set planned. A ROCKING WORSHIP SET! It was supposed to be EPIC! The first night of 2013 BRINGING IN THE NEW YEAR WOOHOO!!! Oh but God had something different planned. Something better. Something that nearly brought me to tears quite a few times.
     First the truck was taken by a family member so I had to find another way to get to church, and when we stepped into the fellowship hall to practice we noticed that someone had tampered with the sound system. Everything was turned all the way down and no sound men were there to help us get things back on track. Now as for turning things up, we totally understand that, but someone had tampered with it in another way, and we absolutely couldn't fix stuff at all. We've had this issue before though. We were kind of hoping not to do an acoustic set. Turns out that's what God wanted. This was the first time that I was able to really hold my composure under this circumstance, which shows me that God is growing me.
     During the practice I found myself throwing up silent prayers about my pride. Though I was holding my composure, on the inside I was angry with the fact that people would mess with that sound system again. It had just got fixed and it was great! I had plans for it! To be honest on the inside I was pissed off. My bandmates were trying to make jokes with me, but it was just making things worse, but I had to hold my composure. That is one of the hardest things to do. When you really just want to tear into someone for something they have said or done, but the only things you can do to make it better is accept that they did it and forgive them. Stuff just seemed to be piling up! The printer stopped working for some reason, so I couldn't print out new music, and with the time spent trying to put everything back together I couldn't quite get the words to get onto the screen.
     It seemed like a disaster.

Sometimes the beginning of something beautiful

seems like a disaster

     Before we began I really didn't want to talk about the sound system issue, and the first thing our youth pastor did was let the group know that the sound system was down once again. -_- sigh

Then we began to play the song "Your Love Never Fails"

All that stuff seemed to go away 

when faced with these words

"Nothing can separate even if I run away.

 Your love never fails. I know I still make mistakes but, 

You have new mercies for me everyday. Your Love never fails."

My heart had to turn away from the fact that technology had failed

that my family had failed me that day

that I felt like I was failing other people

and I realized something

I can't plan the Holy Spirit moving

I don't get to make the plans of how God is going to show up,

but I do get to join Him where He is

I don't get to choose what God is going to use for His purpose,

but He does let me join in on the mission

     That's when the peace came over me. There were actually times where I almost just couldn't say words because I wanted to cry. So they probably kinda sounded like slurred words, but just thinking about my day and how much faith I had put in so much stuff it just hit me. I'd put my faith in me, the truck, the sound system, my family, and the printer. All of these things let me down that day, and even still. GOD DIDN'T! He instead used all of my misplaced faith to show me what I was missing out on. 

2 Timothy 2: 13

if we are faithless He remains faithful,

for He cannot deny Himself

     So caught up. I'm seeing that God is really showing me how easily my focus can be rattled lately. Not just for the purpose of saying "HEY YOU SUCK" but for the purpose of saying "Here's something I'm working out of you." It was peaceful to sit there with a piano and sing about God. Just to sing about who He is. He reminded me and the those worshipping with me of who He is. . . . 

funny thing is....

had things gone my way....

we would have never done that first song

we would have rocked out

and no change in my heart would have been made

I would have went home thinking to myself

. . . .

that was fun

. . . . 

instead

I went home changed

Romans 8:28

for we know that God makes ALL(this includes the hard things) things

work together for the good of those who love Him

and are called to HIS purpose

it's His purpose

we don't get to pick how He carries it out

but we do get to join in and experience Him do GREAT things

things beyond our imagination

We get to see Him take things we think are small

and blow the worlds minds with them

BECAUSE HE'S JUST THAT GREAT