Whore

Jeremiah 3:1

...You have played the whore with many lovers; and would you return to me?...

     As you can see by the dot dot dots there's more to that verse, but I want to focus on that for a moment. As I was reading this this morning God's word really spoke to my heart. I have to ask myself this daily question. "Will I play the whore today?"

     Will I give my heart to things of this world, when as a Child of God my heart belongs to Him. He is my portion, and all I need while the things of this world are so much less than what I need. If even I were to gain the whole world, I would still be empty without Him. 

     I find great significance in the fact that the term God uses here is "whore."

     Israel were God's people at the time. His bride! But they continuously turned to the things of this world, and when they did this they didn't just turn from Him, but treated Him as if He didn't matter. They would ignore His commands and His heart for them, and then pretend as if they had done nothing wrong. They would worship the foreign gods, making sacrifices to them. They even sacrificed their babies to one foreign god, and they weren't even real gods. They were man made, or even God made gods. They worshipped rocks, trees, statues, and other earthly things, and God looked on with a broken heart. Not only because they had walked away from Him, but His broken heartedness was for them. He knew the direction in which they were going, was not a good one.

     As I reach the end of the chapter God is calling Israel back to Him. Saying "If you'll just confess your wrong and come back to me I will restore you. I will not stay angry." 

     This is the same call that He gives us when we play the whore. 

1 John 1:9

IF we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive

and cleanse us from all unrighteousness

     It breaks God's heart to see us in sin! He wants to restore us to glory! He doesn't want to see us playing the whore. A big thing we must realize is that playing the whore is sin....

So let me run

Run after You

You and only You

Blind my eyes to all this world

That cannot make me full

Break my heart when I believe 

this world is best for me

Let my heart be so consumed

with You my everything

Infinite well > Styrofoam Cup with holes in it

     Israel Walked away after all God had brought them through. They walked away from Him. Time and time again they walked away. They put Him out of their minds, out of their laws, and out of their hearts. Not as if He didn't exist, but as if He didn't matter. They began to be self-satisfied and world-satisfied only problem is that it was such an unsatisfied satisfaction.

     They had began to settle for this world not only that, but they began to worship things of this world.

No longer chasing the heart of God, they began worshipping trees, stones, and man made idols! They traded God for gods that weren't even gods...And disaster struck... They walked away from God and sooner or later disaster struck.

     We see this happen over and over in the old testament Israel walks away from God and becomes like the world after a while of chasing the fleeting pleasures of the world disaster strikes. eventually Israel would find themselves running back to God and God, being ever faithful, would take them back and restore them to glory!

We find this story again in the new testament in Luke 15:11-32

The Parable of the Lost Son

     The son tells his father that he wants what he is going to inherit when his father dies. Back then that was just like saying to your father "Dad I wish you were dead."

     The Father doesn't argue with his son, but instead gives his son the inheritance and the son leaves. I imagine that while the son was gone the father felt great heartache. This was the son that he'd protected, and raised up to be glorious. Even still the father allowed the son to go and chase the world. 

     Meanwhile the son was loving life away from the father. Chasing this fleeting pleasure, he found friends and spent a lot of money. When the money was gone he lost his friends, and found himself eating with pigs. The once glorious son was now eating with pigs, what pigs eat. 

     It was in this low state that the son remembered that even his fathers slaves lived better lives than that. So he went back home seeking to be no more than a slave.

From here.... I'm just gonna hit ya with the scriptures 

Luke 15:²⁰ So he got up and went to his father. But while the son was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion. He ran, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him. ²¹ The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight. I’m no longer worthy to be called your son.’

²² “But the father told his slaves, ‘Quick! Bring out the best robe and put it on him; put a ringon his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³ Then bring the fattened calf and slaughter it, and let’s celebrate with a feast, ²⁴ because this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found!’ So they began to celebrate.

Restored to Glory

     When the son's heart was brought to repentance, and he went back to his father seeking to be nothing more than a mere slave. The father saw the repentance, had compassion, and restored the son to full blown glory!

     The Father is God. The son is Israel.

     Better yet. The Father is God. The son is me. The son is you. The son is us.                                                       

  

    Now lets not kid ourselves thinking it's okay to walk away from God every now and then. IT IS NOT OKAY. That is why we find ourselves in disaster eventually, when we do. The beauty in this isn't that the son told the Father that he wishes that He was dead. The beauty in this parable is the Father. The sons glory began to deplete the moment that his heart was hardened towards his Father. Not at the moment that he found himself poor and eating with the pigs. Just as Israel's glory began to deplete when they began to harden their hearts. God is not okay with us walking away, but He allows free will. When we do walk away He does allow disaster to strike, and He allows us to face disaster without Him until we come to Him in repentance. From there He restores us from out of the disaster, though it may not be the end of the disaster He brings us through it gloriously! 

   As I've already said God is not okay when we chase this world. He, in fact, calls it a double evil! Jeremiah 2:13 For My people have committed a double evil: They have abandoned Me, the fountain of living water, and dug cisterns for themselves, cracked cisterns that cannot hold water.

This is not okay! This is Trading a well with an infinite source of Pure Life Giving Water

for a styrofoam cup with holes in it trying to drink 6 month old reused bath water.

Yet God restores us from it when we come to Him in repentance.

Take some time to think about that verse for a while. Jeremiah 2:13

Heck check out Jeremiah 2 for context!!!!

today

I don't know how to describe today
full of heartbreak and disappointment
mixed with faith that I know God is up to something beautiful

right now my heart is just in pain
it's a endurance thing though
I gotta endure it.... it just really sucks

just what happened today makes me want that change of scenery so much more

I've been wanting to get away from a place for the past few weeks

and I'm not sure, right now, if it's God's will for me to stay

or if it's God's will for me to leave

my heart right now tells me to leave. . . . .

I'm having a hard time figuring out if it's just my heart in a wounded state
or if me staying is what is putting my heart in a wounded state and God is using the wounded state
to tell me to leave

i'm a little confused at the moment......

and I'm definitely in need of some serious prayer
as I pray that God would empty me and fill me with Him
so that I can go wherever it is He wants me to go
and if staying is what He wants then I'll do that too

If it's not what He wants then I don't need to stay
cause If He isn't here then I need to be wherever He is

All of Me

it's what God wants
He wants all of my heart
Everything about me He wants
and it's crazy to think about that

Recently during life group the question came up

"When is it hard to believe that God will be there for you?"
or something like that lol

but I had to think about it for a little bit
and my answer was really simple

When I want nothing to do with me.....

there are those days

when I'm so disappointed in myself

days when I put myself into bad positions

there are days when if I was anybody else and saw what I was dealing with

I'd be very reluctant to jump into the fire with me

There are days when I feel so in over my head

simply because life has thrown something my way

and it's crazy

it's crazy to think that anyone would want to go through stuff with me

it's crazy to think that His love is just that strong!

BUT THE REALITY IS THAT HIS LOVE IS THAT STRONG

So strong in fact that

He jumps into the dirtiness of life with us

whether we put ourselves in the mud

or the mud was thrown at us by this world

HAHA

OFTEN TIMES HE EVEN SEES THE MUD PUDDLES AND SAYS

HEY LETS GO THAT WAY!!!!

if you're reading this 

and you are going through a rough time

be encouraged 

know that God wants your whole heart

all of the time

He wants everything about you

all of the time

not only is He the desire of our hearts,

but He desires to fulfill our hearts!

ALL OF THE TIME

there's no place that we can put ourselves

no valley or mountain

no sin or shame

that we can be found in

that He isn't willing to jump down into the dirtiness with us

and love on us

He is not a God of Chaos, but a God of peace

yet He is willing to jump into the chaos with us

so that we can know His peace in the midst of it all

because He loves us

even when we feel like we can't love ourselves

He loves us

when we don't want anything to do with us

He wants EVERYTHING to do with us

God is Love

Romans 5:8

 But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us!

John 3:16
For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son 
so that whosever believes in Him would not perish
but have eternal life

John 17:3
This is eternal life: that they may know You, the only true God, and the One You have sent —Jesus Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:21
He made the One who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

In fact He loves us so much
and dives so far into the Chaos to show it
that He dove even as deep as the grave
to bring us out of sin, death, and shame
into abundant life
true abundant and eternal life

:)

my prayer is that God would continue to remind me of this love
and teach me this love as I strive to be like Him
to dive into the chaos with people who want to know peace
to dive into the chaos with people who want to know freedom
and shine light into their lives
as He has put people in my lives that dive into the chaos with me

Remind me Lord of what it means to really love
everyday

and guard my heart and my mind against those who don't really want peace or freedom
but instead just want to drag me into chaos with them for the sake of
making someone else's life chaotic 

Help me be discerning there Lord

GRRRRRR

it's been a frustrating week up until today
I've just felt . . . annoyed and angry lately
praying that God would give me peace in all this

trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together as to why I might feel this way
but I just can't figure it out
I haven't felt like doing much lately, but there's so much to be done
and if I don't do it all then others will be affected

so I press on and get r done

wrenches have been thrown in my plans
and man it's just been a crazy week....


I know God has something big planned though
so I just gotta press on and not let my anger win
I gotta hand it over to Christ and just keep walking and resting in Him

Romans 8:28 For we know that God makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called to His purpose


God is gonna work this all out for my Good

I just gotta hold on because my life depends on it

restless nights

more restless nights
thought that maybe I could trust someone again
after having just walked away for a month
they seemed to put forth a little effort

I guess for a moment I forgot that I was worth so much more than their leftovers

I let them back in for a moment
and for a moment of that moment things were great
until I let them deeply in . . .

that's when it all went bad
things just became what they were before
just completely draining on me

so here's to more restless nights
spent regretting letting you in
and here's to better days
remembering just who I am
and here's to life

life well lived
life moving forward while you stay behind

got too much good going for me
and I have a good heart
so why poison it any longer

this is war

once we've been rescued from the chains of sin
we not only enter into a royal priesthood
we not only enter into the Family of God
but we become rebels in this world

the world will hate us because the world hated Jesus,

Matthew 10:25 It is enough for a disciple to become like his teacher and a slave like his master. If they called the head of the house ‘Beelzebul,’ how much more the members of his household!

but we have what this world doesn't have
HOPE

real HOPE

something eternal
we have God fighting on our side
as I realize just how much Christianity is under attack here lately
I'm starting to see more and more that

We are at war, and in the midst of the war the hope is this....

That the battle has already been won

WE ARE AT WAR
WE ARE REBELS

REBELS WITH A MISSION AND THE POWER TO CARRY IT OUT

Matthew 28
¹⁸ Then Jesus came near and said to them, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. ¹⁹ Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

TO SET THE CAPTIVE FREE ALONGSIDE OUR KING

LEGOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Rich part 2

Rich....

It's something we will never truly be in this world,
but it's a lie that many will believe!
Many will believe that they are rich in what they have
whether it be money and possessions,
friendships, or popularity. Many will believe
that they are rich in these things, and because
they are so caught up in these things
will not see the greatest treasure of all.

They will not see the treasure worth selling everything else for,
and for that reason will not see the kingdom of heaven.

You see the possessions will eventually get old
and no matter how much money we have we never have enough
popularity runs out and friends go away either by argument, space, or simply by death

none of these things last forever
and we can't take them with us when we die

matthew 19:¹⁶ Just then someone came up and asked Him, “Teacher, what good must I do to have eternal life?”
¹⁷ “Why do you ask Me about what is good?”^[f] He said to him. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter into life, keep the commandments.”

¹⁸ “Which ones?” he asked Him. Jesus answered:

Do not murder;
do not commit adultery;
do not steal;
do not bear false witness;
¹⁹ honor your father and your mother;
and love your neighbor as yourself.

²⁰ “I have kept all these,” the young man told Him. “What do I still lack?”

²¹ “If you want to be perfect,”  Jesus said to him, “go, sell your belongings and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow Me.”

²² When the young man heard that command, he went away grieving, because he had many possessions.

he had so much

that He didn't see a life with Christ worth it

he went away grieving

because he just knew that he was "Rich"

he had so much stuff, but stuff didn't do him a lick of good in this situation.

He would end up missing out on a full life holding on to all of his stuff

Don't be that guy

if it's stuff that is hindering you from following Christ

let it go! If it's the love of money, surrender it to God!

You can work yourself to death and get all the money in the world

and in the end miss out on a full life. A life with Christ!

If it's friends you think you can't live without LET GO!

Jesus is life He wants you to let that go to follow Him because

He can fulfill you, while they can't!

He calls us to be on an epic mission with Him

He calls us to be who we are meant to be in Him

calls us to more that possessions, popularity, or money could ever offer

more that this world could ever offer

^{Matthew 19:23} Then Jesus said to His disciples, “I assure you: It will be hard for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven! ²⁴ Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.”

²⁵ When the disciples heard this, they were utterly astonished and asked, “Then who can be saved?”

²⁶ But Jesus looked at them and said, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

²⁷ Then Peter responded to Him, “Look, we have left everything and followed You. So what will there be for us?”

²⁸ Jesus said to them, “I assure you: In the Messianic Age, when the Son of Man sits on His glorious throne, you who have followed Me will also sit on 12 thrones, judging the 12 tribes of Israel. ²⁹ And everyone who has left houses, brothers or sisters, father or mother,^[l] children, or fields because of My name will receive 100 times more and will inherit eternal life. ³⁰ But many who are first will be last, and the last first.

He makes us truly rich
rich with true life
something that we will take with us
when this life ends

God remind me that You are my great reward
Don't let my heart get so caught up in stuff
that I begin to think I'm rich in this world
or Poor in this world

Keep my heart focused on You
because when it's not focused on You 
I begin to simply flatline

Be Ell EE Ess Ess EE Dee

Blessed :)

it's what I am
I can't deny it
through the good times and the bad
God has always made all things work out for my good because
I love Him and I am called to His purpose

Today I got to give my testimony through music @ the middle school I went to,
Belview Middle School

God really blessed it and I know that He is going to use it to impact
those who heard it, but looking back through my testimony
I'm always reminded that God was looking out for me

He placed people in my life who were obedient to Him
to shine in the darkness of my life and in the darkness of all those who claimed His name
yet were not obedient to Him

Makes me wonder whose life I'm shining into in the same way
who else is in a family where God is claimed, but not truly lived out
where love is claimed, yet not truly lived out

The fact that I don't know the answer to that question
is a blessing because it makes truly living
so urgent

I'm reminded by a simple line by Lecrae

"What if you were dead in sin and Christians overlooked ya'll"

WOAH!

God keep my focus on Your purpose not the things of this world

Rich?

Ever heard of John D. Rockefeller?
If not you ought to know that he was the founder of the standard oil company.
You know what that makes him?
A rich man by earthly standards. A very rich man,

however when asked how much money was enough 

He replied "A little bit more."

a man that rich

and yet was still not satisfied with 

what this world had to offer

because though he had much

what he had wasn't infinite

it wasn't everlasting

it was simply fleeting

but what the human soul craves is something infinite

something everlasting

something that can fill it's void

that something can only be found in Christ

and the beauty of our situation is

though we don't deserve to be filled

He not only fills us

no 

no 

no

But instead He overflows us when we trust in Him

tonight reading 1 Timothy 6

this jumped out and grabbed my heart

and this is at a time where I felt like I regretted tithing . . .

let's just say God has a huge way of saying TRUST ME!

to me

1 Timothy 6

¹⁷ Instruct those who are rich in the present age not to be arrogant or to set their hope on the uncertainty of wealth, but on God, who richly provides us with all things to enjoy.¹⁸ Instruct them to do what is good, to be rich in good works, to be generous, willing to share, ¹⁹ storing up for themselves a good reserve for the age to come, so that they may take hold of life that is real.

who RICHLY PROVIDES US WITH ALL THINGS TO ENJOY!!!!!

When I look at this scripture I'm also reminded

that God watches over even the birds of the air

He even provides for them

and He sent His Son to DIE so that He could call me Son

Why would He not provide for me too?

then I think of Psalm 32

MY CUP OVERFLOWS

man I start thinking about how much I have in Christ

My family in Christ

The talents that He has given me to glorify Him

and how in Him I'm fully alive 

whether or not i have a lot in my pocket at the moment or not

I'm ALIVE

now I'm not saying money isn't something that we need

what I'm saying is that if I fall in love with money

and start living for money

I won't be satisfied

it's a fleeting pleasure

and the love of money is a root to all kinds of evil

last thing yall wanna see is me out on the street sellin dope lol

God is my provider

and not only that but He is my great reward!!!!

I have all that I need in Him

all I need is Him

all we need is Him

Weeds in the shade

     We are like plants bursting forth from the soil seeking to be trees. We need our water and our sunlight. Or we will parish, and we can't have one without the other and survive. All water and no sunlight and we drown. All sunlight and no water and we dry up. Now the only water that brings us true life is the living water and the sunlight that we need to take in is His love, but there's a problem. In our lives weeds tend to pop up and sometimes clouds block out the sun. Now the difference between us and plants is that we are not immobile. We have the choice to allow the weeds to take up all of our water or to sit in the shade and not take in His love.

Weeds

they come in two forms

Bad/parasitic Relationships and Addictions

Both of these things can suck the life out of you

we get so consumed in these kinds of things

trying to fix a bad or parasitic relationships

or trying to fit God into the cracks of the time that we have left over after our addictions

whatever they may be 

these things squeeze the life out of us

Addictions especially

when we think of the word addiction we usually jump straight to big things

like drugs

sex

porn 

things like that

. . . but have we considered . . .

Work?

Video Games?

Money?

we can go on and on with a list of things we become addicted to

things that aren't necessarily bad until we become so consumed in them

when they become our identity

when we treat weeds like water 

we always end up dry

I'm reminded that in Psalm 1 

God inspires the writer to say that the one that is blessed 

is the one who delights in Gods word

He is like a tree planted by streams of water that bears fruit in season

and whose leaf doesn't wither 

whatever he does prospers

but often we get so caught up in all of our weeds and stay there

Shade

Now this can come in the form of haters

these people don't just want to take from you

they want to make sure you don't get

sometimes we allow haters into our lives

people who try to talk us out of the things of God constantly

and the longer we stay under them we find ourselves drifting from God

They don't always appear as an enemy; in fact, they will appear as a best friend

someone who is completely okay with us being in sin simply because they walk in it too

they won't hold us accountable

they want to make sure that the light of God's love doesn't shine down into our lives

so that what is messy can be cleaned up

because they are afraid that if that happens

then they will feel be faced with their own sin

God calls us out of the darkness of the shade though

He calls us into marvelous light

so that He can shine into us and clean up the messes that we are

The encouragement I'd like to send your way is simply this

GET WATER AND SUNLIGHT

AT ALL COSTS

it may cost you a friend 

it may cost you an addiction

IT MAY HURT LIKE HELL IN THE BEGINNING 

BUT YOU WILL KNOW LIFE IN LETTING THEM GO!

TRUE ABUNDANT LIFE!

John:10:10 ¹⁰ A thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance.

A Poem I wrote

Right now in this moment I was expecting to be playing call of duty

yet instead You've called me to something different

My head spins with questions

while my heart breaks with answers

because truth be told I didn't take You seriously

when You said there would be persecution

I thought You meant for them not for me

but that wasn't the case and as my eyes open up

I'm starting to see that persecution comes to all of us

for You said the world would hate Your servants as they hated You

and in this past year I'm starting to realize that this is true

I'm faced with a decision 

conform or stay holy

I cry out to You Lord for Your spirit to console me

to be the one who endures for I know that You are for me

Yes I know that 

and I know that You are faithful and Your live it never ends

I know that You're the light in a world that's ever dim

Yes Lord I know that You have a reward for the one who perseveres 

and I know You are the great reward for the one who draws near

Let me abide in You as You abide in me

Though the valley is upon us 

and the waters they seem deep

in Your courts I will not see defeat

I wont conform I wont backdown I will rise up 

I was expecting to be playing call of duty, but instead I've been called to duty

Down To Earth

     It's where they tell us to be. In fact, people are considered cool
the more down to earth they are, but I have to ask myself is that what I really want to be. Do I want to be down to earth with the rest of the world, or do I want to stand out above the crowd even if I have to shout out loud.
     I'm reminded that God calls His children to be holy because He is holy. Holy meaning sacred! When I think about that and I look at my life I realize I have a lot of stuff that still needs to be given over to Christ in my life. Things that I do have a rough time giving to Him daily, and some of you probably can relate, if not all of you. There are days when I will give everything over to Christ and other days where I hold back so much, and there are even days when I sit in the middle being lukewarm, and I know that He isn't pleased with luke warmth. This year He's been working a lot of things out of my life as many of you have read in my blogs this year. It's been a crazy year, somewhat of a roller coaster!
    One of my biggest problems when it comes to the days that I'm not giving it all over to God is that I simply get cozy being down to earth. Just going with the flow, while the flow says hold so much back. In a world where everyone tries to hold onto everything they have in hopes of keeping it all, I serve a God who says "Give me your all, and you will know true life."
    I know He is right because I have experienced this true life. I've experienced it time and time again! It's those days that I don't experience it that bother me so much. When I get comfortable and don't say the name of Jesus or pick up His word. It's that downhill roll that bothers me. Day after day of walking in the world and not in the spirit.

Lord help me because I get comfortable when I shouldn't be
and I walk the race that I should run as if the world is not at stake
Lord help me
cause I don't wanna be down to earth

Something That Has Bothered me

. . . .
I am a black man in America who has given his life to Christ
Christ is my everything not being black
I can honestly say that I could really care less about a persons color,
but instead I care about their actions

That being said
I'm ashamed of most of my black friends, not because of their color but their actions as of late.
This recent election has shown me a lot. Earlier on in the race I posted that I had realized that most of my friends were appearing to be serious racists. Many may have thought that I was meaning white people.....

not at all

I've seen people claiming to be followers of Christ
who simply hung their hats upon a man because he is black
these people had simply decided that because this is a black man, no other person is acceptable

THAT'S NOT JESUS AT ALL!!!!

I honestly get livid when I see this because it says that Jesus is all about being a racist

AND THAT'S NOT MY JESUS!

The bible says that God HATES dishonest scales
Proverbs 11:1

He detests them, yet most of the black people I know who claim Christ spent most of this race being racists. What's worse is that they claimed that white people were being racists, which some were, without acknowledging their own racism. Since the election I've seen the posts mainly posted by black people. Pictures of Romney saying "I just spent millions trying to fire one black man."

And that bothers me deep down because these are so called Christians who are posting these things.
That is not Jesus. If you are claiming Christ, then you have absolutely no time or room to be a racist. There is way to much at stake.

GO THEREFOR AND MAKE DISCIPLES OF ALL NATIONS!!!!!!!!

ALL NATIONS

THAT TAKES LOVE
FOR ALL NATIONS
ALL NATIONALITIES
ALL ETHNICITIES

understand I use the word most
I know that not all of my black friends are racists
but most of them are closet racists

As I said
Our great commission takes love
there's no room for being a racist
no matter what ethnicity you are
there's no room for racism in God's kingdom

His love ought to be pouring out of us
because He gives it to us in abundance
so much so that it overflows

STOP PULLING THE RACE CARD
GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!!!!

thoughts

why does it take us not getting our way to look to You God
why is it that we can't just be submitted to who You are
We claim after we lose our way that we are just going to trust in You about the situation,
but for how long does it last

with this election
I tremble at the thought that many people will claim to pray
and claim to trust You thinking that You are pleased with a few weeks of our lives
but such is not the case

You call us to either be hot or cold, but the lukewarm you will spew out of your mouth
You are sickened by the lukewarm, yet we live in the world and when the world
doesn't do what we want it to we claim to run to You

I'm reminded by the message given by Brian Pierce
and I'm convicted Lord
Forgive me for I know that I am guilty of this

In many situations I know I am guilty of putting You,
the only One who is worthy of all praise,
on the back burner until things don't go my way
then I suddenly lift my eyes unto the hills where my help comes from

why do I ever even act like I need no help when I know that I do

as I've said before

God continue to shine light onto who I am
get rid of all of my darkness
help me be brave enough to live in Your light
apart from You I can't

Self Satisfying

     It's something we all try to do at some point. We try so hard to live a life in which we can be our greatest provider, but the truth is that we can't and that lifestyle alienates us from the world. Not only does it alienate us, but it sends us on an un healthy emotional roller coaster in which we start to see a little hope of being our greatest provider, so we begin to feel that we are better than others because we are doing so well, then when it all eventually falls through we begin to feel worthless.
    The problem here is self satisfaction. Though we are imperfect we try to be our own perfect giver, but when I read 1 timothy 5:6 I'm reminded that that is a daed lifestyle.

1 Timothy 5:6

However she who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives

     At this point in 1 timothy Paul is speaking of widows and how one continually cries out to God for her provision, but when one is self-indulgent, out to satisfy her every need by herself, she is dead even while she lives. Now I'm not saying that we shouldn't provide things for ourselves, but what I am saying is that we should understand who our great provider is. God provides for us even when we can't! Even the birds have food, and He loves us oh so much more. He will provide! He does Provide! Unlike when we provide, when God provides we are filled. We are filled so much that we overflow. Think about it! We often seen in God's word that when He provides, He provides MORE than enough! So there's an overflow. 

So we sing

All of You is more than enough for 

All of me for every thirst and every need

You satisfy me with Your love

and all I have in You is MORE than enough!!!

My prayer is that I'm reminded of how He does this!

How He not only meets my needs, but how He more than often exceeds them for some odd reason!!!!

The Goal of Our Instruction

     Lately the youth band and I have been on a journey through scripture. This month we are in the book of 1 Timothy, and a huge thing that has stuck out to me in this book is what Paul says is the goal of the instruction given. 1 Timothy 1:5 Now the goal of our instruction is love that comes from a PURE HEART, a GOOD CONSCIENCE, and a SINCERE FAITH! Thinking upon these things makes me want to go look up definitions for these words to get a much better idea of what he is saying.

SO I DID :)

Pure- free from anything of a different, inferior, or contaminating kind; free from extraneous matter

Good- Satisfactory in quality, quantity, or degree

Sincere- free of deceit, hypocrisy, or falseness

     So the goal of our instruction is 

love that is free from anything of a different, inferior or contaminating kind 

love that is satisfactory in quality, quantity, or degree 

And love that is free of deceit, hypocrisy, or falseness

     Well then that helps me out a lot! Love with no strings attatched. That is the goal of the instruction given to us in God's word. That we would love God and love each other with no strings attatched. True love, not that dollar general off brand stuff. Continuing on reading what instruction is given I can see that this must truly be the goal. Paul says he wants us to lift up holy hands together without arguing, but instead us together in love worshipping the God that we love. 

AND REMEMBER

THESE AREN'T JUST PAULS IDEAS

ALL SCRIPTURE IS INSPIRED BY GOD, AND IS PROFITABLE FOR TEACHING, REBUKING, FOR CORRECTING, FOR TRAINING IN RIGHTEOUSNESS SO THAT THE MAN OF GOD MAY BE COMPLETE, EQUIPPED FOR EVERY GOOD WORK

2 Timothy 3:16-17

    Needless to say... Paul isn't just throwing out ideas here. When he calls overseers to be above reproach the goal is love. When he calls women to be modest, not dressing to seek attention to themselves his goal is love. True love. Without a hidden agenda and without contamination. When he calls us to these things, He's simply sharing with us what God has called us to. 

I'm super stoked to continue reading through with this Scripture in mind

right now I'm on chapter three with my band, but as I read a proverb a day(or try to) 

I keep this scripture in mind. Since reading this scripture and actually letting it sink in, the way that I've read the Bible the past couple weeks has been changed when it comes to instruction I'm seeing more and more that not only does God give us instruction because He loves us, but also because He desires for us to love each other.

Truly Live

      Today has been a pretty good day, though I can not get some things off of my mind. This morning there was an employee meeting at my job discussing how we would soon have a different name, and be working for a different company. The meeting went very well, and afterwards I stuck around and talked video games with some co workers and my GM.
     Since I've been home I've had a hurtful relationship on my mind. One I had to walk away from. It's been kind of bothering me today because I know I only would get hurt out of that relationship, and recently the person text me. I have yet to respond and it's been a couple days, but there's still that urge to text that person back. So I have to stay strong. It's rough, but I know God is going to bring me through this. God didn't bring me this far through it just so that I could fall back down into that hole. It helps to have the people I love here to talk to about it. It really does help when I can just lay out on the table what is really on my heart. I think that's how God intended us to be with each other. To be able to lay our hearts out on the table with our closest friends. Ya know the ones that stick closer than a brother.
     I can say that God has definitely been growing me in the past few weeks when it comes to trusting in Him with all of this. My eyes are also being opened as I said in my last blog. I want my life to glorify Him. I want to live they way Jesus lived. Jesus lived a life of love, a life of action, and a life of war. I'm seeing that God has definitely given me the freedom, power, and opportunity to do that. He gives us all the freedom, power, and opportunity to truly live. He is glorified when we truly live. These are things He's been reminding me of through the bible, and the book "Waking the Dead."
     God not only calls us to truly live, but supplies the power to do so. When we trust in Him with our hearts, He wakes them up. He makes our hearts beat fully alive, and it's so amazing.

I am more alive now
than I've been in a long time
all because of Jesus
   

Just keeping you posted

Well it turns out I did get something out of the GIC
I've been away from blogging for a while
been out enjoying the adventures of life
Hanging out with friends
finding new opportunities to just live out loud
Going after opportunities that God has given me to share Him through music

Things have been a little stressful lately, but I'm keeping my focus in the right place.
Remembering that trials will come. They will come until the day I die, and when
I endure, my faith grows because when I endure I get to see that God has something
amazing at the end that will glorify me so that I can glorify Him.

This week I auditioned for We've Got Talent

for those that don't know it's a talent show
I've made it to the finals which means I will be playing
at the Pensacola Interstate Fair October 21st

I'm very excited about this!
Very excited!

I'm also playing at Beulah Free Will Baptist Church on November 2
I can not wait!

I'm starting to see, as my focus is getting back to where it needs to be, on God, that
there have been opportunities all around that I've missed focusing on things that
don't matter

I'm happy that God has not let me go so blind that I don't get to see opportunities
now, even though I didn't see them then.

Now it's time to get on the so called GRIND

Empire being built correctly
on who He is
He's gonna hold everything up
even in the worst storms

GIC DAY 1

          Last night was the big kick off of our Global Impact Celebration at church. I must say that I was very reluctant to attend. The previous night we had band practice for the event, and things did not go well at all. Stuff was getting messed up, the music sounded terrible, and one of the main people singing did not make it to the practice. We seemed to do a lot more talking than practicing, which kept us there until 9:30pm. I almost came to the point of just saying that I refused to play. I was highly annoyed, but kept asking God not to let that get in the way of me seeing, and hearing Him. I even made it a point to have someone else pray for me on that same thing.
        When yesterday finally rolled around, I tried to keep the previous practice, and the thought of playing far from my mind until I needed to actually think about it. I went to see Taken 2 with some friends. It was okay. Then it was time. I got to church and everything just felt so rushed again, seeing as we started practice late. Honestly I wasn't really feeling it. Yes it was worship music we were playing, and no it's not all about us, but it was a most definitely stressful practice environment, and unnecessarily stressful at that. By the end of that practice there was just so much noise going on in my head, and I was afraid that maybe I wouldn't get to see God move.
       Finally the service started, and I had a peace in my heart. Once we began to play I just focused on one thing. The words of what we were playing. God was giving me peace and reminding me of who He is through the music we had been playing. The music went well, can't say that I really really heard the message though. I know it was about passion and obligation for missions. But I'm praying that God use these next few days of this conference to really speak to me. Beyond all the noise of band practices, band stress, and other things that go on in life.

I really want to see Him move
and I really want to hear Him speak

Back to battle

Lately that's how it's seemed
I remember a time in my life when I felt overwhelmed
thinking that I was too involved in ministry

Granted I was doing a lot of stuff

The problem was never the stuff that I was doing
The problem was where my heart and mind where when I was doing so much
I can remember the joy that these things brought me when I was focused
Focused on the bigger picture

Lately my focus has slowly gotten back toward the big picture
here's what I know about the big picture
It's so big that I cannot grasp it fully,
but I have a huge part to play in it

God has shown me adventure in the past few weeks
I've been helping out with 1st Priority Washington High school
I missed it this past week and it broke my heart to have to
I'm looking forward to seeing what God does with us

I realize that God has more for me than just helping out at our youth group
on wednesdays and the band on sunday mornings sometimes
there's so much more out there that God has for me
not that I'm not blessed by those things

Because those things are such a blessing on my life
there's just more blessings to be had
more battles to be won

there's just so much more to see than
wednesdays and sundays could ever hold
I'm looking forward to what He does with me at my job
what He does with me at my school
what He does with me in my home

there's much to be done
much God to be experienced
much war and adventure to be had

there's a bigger picture out there

Lord let the sight of my eyes become irrelevant
and the sight of my heart become everything

During the Marithon

Psalm 25:17 My awful worries keep growing.

   Rescue me from sadness.

18 See my troubles and misery

   and forgive my sins.

      That's pretty much where I am right now. Going through rough times in my home, and dealing with the pains that come with pulling myself away from people that I care about, but aren't good for me. This has been a very rough week, and just when things started to look up they dropped right back down to the ground. Today I've felt like a shell. I've felt like the life has been sucked out of me. I've been angry, hurt, and broken hearted. I've felt hopeless, though I know that I have hope in Christ.

    

 I'm in a marathon and I feel like I've hit runners wall.

but I must endure

if I don't endure through this I wont grow

and I won't move on to the next marathon

James 1:2 Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.

     God is using this week to test my faith, and I must admit I've had some mess ups, but I have to decide right here and now to make it through this. To stand on His word, and to live in His promises of victory. Knowing that whether I have little or a lot, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Philippians 4 tells me that, and that's God's word. God has never failed me in the past, even with all of the times that I've failed Him. He still doesn't abandon me!

I'll make it through this, because the one in me has overcome the world.

Keep me in prayer
I will really need it.