Last night was the big kick off of our Global Impact Celebration at church. I must say that I was very reluctant to attend. The previous night we had band practice for the event, and things did not go well at all. Stuff was getting messed up, the music sounded terrible, and one of the main people singing did not make it to the practice. We seemed to do a lot more talking than practicing, which kept us there until 9:30pm. I almost came to the point of just saying that I refused to play. I was highly annoyed, but kept asking God not to let that get in the way of me seeing, and hearing Him. I even made it a point to have someone else pray for me on that same thing.
When yesterday finally rolled around, I tried to keep the previous practice, and the thought of playing far from my mind until I needed to actually think about it. I went to see Taken 2 with some friends. It was okay. Then it was time. I got to church and everything just felt so rushed again, seeing as we started practice late. Honestly I wasn't really feeling it. Yes it was worship music we were playing, and no it's not all about us, but it was a most definitely stressful practice environment, and unnecessarily stressful at that. By the end of that practice there was just so much noise going on in my head, and I was afraid that maybe I wouldn't get to see God move.
Finally the service started, and I had a peace in my heart. Once we began to play I just focused on one thing. The words of what we were playing. God was giving me peace and reminding me of who He is through the music we had been playing. The music went well, can't say that I really really heard the message though. I know it was about passion and obligation for missions. But I'm praying that God use these next few days of this conference to really speak to me. Beyond all the noise of band practices, band stress, and other things that go on in life.
I really want to see Him move
and I really want to hear Him speak
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