It's Quiet . . tooooo Quiet

This week has been awkward. . .
for the past three months I spent almost everyday of each week with one person
and well even though I've been having my good days
there are still those moments when I become very aware that they are not there anymore

tonight is one of those nights
it's 8:17 and we'd usually meet around ten o clock
but I know that's not going to be happening tonight

I'd love to just say hey this would be a great time to just sit and talk with God
but this is me being completely honest
I don't just want to sit and talk with God
I want to take this adventure outside of these walls

right now I wish I were somewhere else
with people doing something else than just sitting here typing
but I just can't think of what to do around this place
maybe if I sing . . .

so much anxiety tonight
please don't take me as saying I don't want God in all of this
it's just I don't think that He just wants me to sit around with my head in the bible
all day everyday

nothing will get done that way
I'm looking for Him in all this, but not just the knowledge of Him
I'm looking for His hand in all of this
asking Him to make me aware of His moves in all of this

this morning I found myself on the floor of the trash closet at work
asking God to show me what to do, and to teach me to be brave enough to do it
maybe that's what this point in time really is
my soul longing to brave the waves in a stormy night
or my soul longing to bring justice where justice isn't
my soul longing to be on adventure with Christ right now
in this moment

to do something . . .

RIDICULOUS!!!!!
SOMETHING THAT THE WORLD THINKS IS STUPID!!!!

yeah
something great :)


because it's quiet . . .

tooooooo quiet!