So right now I'm more angry than i've been
in a long time
MY body is shaking with adrenaline
and I really want to punch someone in the face
someone in particular
repeatedly
so instead I'll blog about the situation
about an hour ago my sister called me to take out the trash
in any other case I would usually do it, though I don't use it
but this morning I simply replied with "you're closer."
Her response was "but you're the only boy."
so I told her that being a guy has
nothing to do with taking out the trash
it wasn't going to hurt her to do this one little thing
so she takes out the trash and comes back in angry telling me that
I need to do it from now on
and I'm like
no we all need to do this
My mom is all telling me that I'm a shame and that I don't do anything
so I stood up for myself telling them what I actually do
Cuz usually I take out the trash
I do the dishes
I cut the grass
I do stuff around this house
and at that I even buy my own groceries and food
and rarely use the trashcans
they are never wrong for anything
it's always the other persons fault
everyone else is wrong
and this may seem like it's about the trash to some
but to me it's about so much more
it's about people trying to run me down into the ground
people who have been doing it for years
trying to send me on guilt trips
people who have physically, mentally, and emotionally abused me in the past
who think that they can still do those same things
I love myself too much to let this continue
even in other relationships
relationships I feared I'd never break free from
I'm starting to realize that there is freedom in Christ from
letting people walk all over me
as I learn to love myself
I learn to simply stand up for myself against the tyrants in my life
as angry as I am
it feels so good to have stood up to my mom and my sister
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