Fear the loss of focus

I'm a weird person...

I have a tendency of fearing failure before going for something.

I really have to push myself and talk to myself into it and sometimes it takes days

maybe even weeks to talk myself into it. 

I hate this about me because sometimes I miss awesome opportunities because I'm afraid to take them and often wish I had someone to push me.

That's not the weird part though.

The weird part is that I tend be very successful at most things that I do.

And sometimes that success scares me more than the previous thoughts of failure.
Because deep down
and this is my biggest struggle

I fear getting so busy doing something that is going to help me invest
in what I want to do with my life
that I forget to actually do what I want to do with my life.

I fear the loss of focus.

But ultimately I know it's a risk that I have to take if I'm going to make it to where I want to make it.

so... Here we go